It is possible that you thought Dean Martin was the greatest hell-raiser. King of Cool, Rat Pack singer of Little Ole Wine Drinker, Me, could rarely be seen without his cigarette, strong beverage in hand, or a twinkle in the eye that suggested that the night was not yet over.

A documentary about the singer dispelled many of these legends. For starters, the tumbler of whisky was, in fact, nothing stronger than cider, and he hated late evenings so much he’d often pretend to be a disgruntled neighbour and call the police to complain about the noise — at his own party. He was able to save himself the humiliation of asking his guests to leave.

It’s a pretty extreme tactic, but a fiendishly clever one. For many of us, the next few weeks are a punishing round of Christmas drinks parties and ‘just pop in for a mince pie and sherry’ invitations that end up being all-night sessions.

How can you make sure your visitors feel that there are homes for them? Here are 15 ways to guarantee your visitors don’t outstay their welcome.

Harry Wallop reveals 15 ways to guarantee your visitors don't overstay their welcome at festivities this Christmas (file image)

Harry Wallop shares 15 tips to ensure your guests don’t leave the festivities unattended this Christmas. (file image).

1. Make sure to brush your teeth

Due to the unfortunate incident at the Christmas party I was hosting, my wife calls me sometimes the rudest man on Britain.

I got so frustrated at the final straggle of guests shuffling around the carpet to Santa Claus Is Comin’ To Town and drinking my last bottle of cherry brandy that I went to the bathroom, grabbed my toothbrush and Colgate, and re-entered the sitting room cleaning my teeth.

‘Sorry, getting ready for bed,’ I said casually. That worked. It could have also been that I was still wearing my dressing gown. This never fails.

2. Establish an end time

In the days when invitations came on stiff, gilt-edged cards, rather than via WhatsApp, you would often find in the bottom corner: ‘Carriages: 11pm’.

The invitation was very civilized and informed the guests about their turn. So don’t think it’s impolite to state — when you issue the invitation — the timings of the evening: ‘Christmas drinks, 6pm to 9pm’.

Or, if it’s a casual supper, say: ‘Just to warn you: we’re aiming for an early night; been an exhausting few weeks!’

You are better off being forewarned.

Harry claims guest will slink away out of embarrassment if you playfully say they¿ve drunk you out of house and home (file image)

Harry claims guest will slink away out of embarrassment if you playfully say they’ve drunk you out of house and home (file image)

3. Get started washing up

Your guests will be more aware if you do the washing up. Open-plan kitchens and dining areas allow you to chat, drink wine, and make a reference to how much you loathe cleaning up after yourself. ‘Especially, as I’ll be waking up in a few hours … ’

4. Hedge the booze

It’s that simple. You can hide any wine that guests have brought. Clear out all fizz from the fridge Be profusely apologetic and explain playfully to guests they’ve drunk you out of house and home. They will run away out of embarrassment.

5. Power down

Our neighbor has a set-timer that controls his lighting and heating. At 11.30pm, guests are thrown into darkness and freezing cold.

‘Oh, sorry, that’s the system powering down,’ he explained. ‘It thinks we should all be in bed by now. Sorry!’ These days many people can ‘power down’ their lights with a smart-home app on their phone. Even better, you can do this right under your table. Crafty.

Harry said bringing out a tray of orange or grapefruit juice gives a signal that the boozing is over and you need to leave (file image)

Harry said bringing out a tray of orange or grapefruit juice gives a signal that the boozing is over and you need to leave (file image)

6. Serve soft drinks

Many French hosts have used this trick for years. You can bring out some grapefruit or orange juice. It’s a signal that the boozing is over and you need to leave.

The gesture only works when all the participants understand it. But you can always explain it as: ‘Something to help you sober up a little before you head home.’

7. Get taxis

Claim you live in an area known as a taxi desert. ‘We’ve found it’s been a nightmare getting a cab recently in this part of the country. Can we order you a cab now, just in case it takes another 45 minutes to turn up?’ Look shocked when it arrives seven minutes later.

8. Nominate guests

It was Julia Child, an American TV cook who recommended this technique.

You must enter into a plot with another guest who also desires an early-night. They need to ostentatiously declare (at the nominated hour): ‘Oh, is that the time? We must leave and give this poor couple some peace.’

Harry claims warning that the dog gets quite aggressive after midnight will encourage guests to grab their coat (file image)

Harry asserts that by warning guests about the aggressive behavior of their dog after midnight, Harry will get them to take off their clothes (file image).

9. Blame your dog

‘Now, I ought to warn you that Rover starts to get quite aggressive after midnight if there’s lots of noise in the house. It was just my question to see if your dog is okay with Rover chewing on the Jimmy Choos. No? No, thank you. Sorry, the dog’s an absolute menace. I’ll get your coat.’

10. Blame next door

After a short trip to the garden, you will exclaim in outraged terror that your neighbour shouted at them from their bedroom window, trying to reduce the noise. ‘As we are in the midst of party-wall negotiations, it might be best if we turned the music off.’

11. Get rid of the garbage

With a bit of performative huffing and puffing, take the empty bottles to your recycling bin outside, with an exclamation of, ‘Wow, we’ve got through a lot of prosecco this evening.’ This should prompt some guests into deciding their current glass of fizz is their last.

Harry said huffing and puffing about taking the empty bottles out will prompt some guests into deciding their current glass of fizz is their last (file image)

Harry said huffing and puffing about taking the empty bottles out will prompt some guests into deciding their current glass of fizz is their last (file image)

12. Use herbal tea

‘I presume you won’t want to stay awake any later, so I won’t offer you caffeine. This matcha and liquorice are available. Want a cup?’ They won’t. They’ll go.

13. Breakfast

get out the porridge oats and explain you need to soak them overnight and, as breakfast is only a few hours away, you thought you’d better get cracking. I’ve done this before. It works.

14. Take the coats

Bring all the guests’ coats down from the spare room bed into the party room. Claim that you’ve had to clear the bed for a sickly child.

15. Get to sleep

This one I used only when people were still around my kitchen table at 1.40am. I got up and went. No explanation, no, ‘I’m so sorry, but I can not keep my eyelids open a second longer’. Just left.

The guests eventually realized that the host might have left and they could leave too.

Harry suggest bringing all the guests¿ coats down from the spare room bed into the party room while claiming the space is needed for a sickly child (file image)

Harry suggest bringing all the guests’ coats down from the spare room bed into the party room while claiming the space is needed for a sickly child (file image)