Boris Johnson was a shrew at PMQs. We all know that he was tired after the past fortnight. He had to get up and do something.

It wasn’t beautiful, but it was true. It was more drunken brawling that what purists call good pugilism.

However, isn’t this always true for the Prime Minster? It is not likely that he will be described as elegance by the 21st century political chroniclers.

Boris, who spent the last week wheezing like a Morris Minor and gasping for breath like it was his turn to be clapped out, showed that there is still some fighting left.

He arrived with his typical crash-bang manner of arriving: Head down and backside out. Shoulders powering forward.

Having spent this past week wheezing like a clapped-out old Morris Minor, Boris (pictured) at least showed there's a bit of fight left in him at PMQs

Boris, pictured (pictured), despite wheezing the past week like an old Morris Minor, showed some fight at PMQs.

The ministers who do this are seen squirming like a flock of geese as they move along the front benches. 

It’s possible that the PM would lose his balance as he charges towards his chair. 

The whips’ offices were clearly busy, evident by the huge roars coming from the back. The Conservative benches had a flurry of activity after last week’s non-shows. 

After the PM sat down, Rishi Sunak, Chancellor was quickly moved to his side in lieu of Liz Truss. After all the talk of a very un-neighbourly feud, don’t want to go scaring the horses…

The Labour MPs were chirping and laughing all the way. ‘Forgive me! Please forgive me. They yelled in reference to Boris’s horrible CBI speech Monday. 

Shadow Chancellor Rachel Reeves pretend to be a muckraker of the papers Sir Keir Sterner’s. 


How they giggled. Sir Keir stood up and extended his arms in the fashion of an entertainer who wears a bow. 

This is a sign that he feels full of himself. The Tory benches got a nod from him. 

“I saw they came up this week!”

The PM’s social services plans were what he got involved in, including his promise that no one would have to sell any of their houses to help pay for the expenses. 

Boris accused the Government with a “classic con” and of running a pickpocketing operation in Covent Garden. Boris pointed out the fact that Labour did not have any plan. 

While his answers were not classics in any way, he had more energy than in recent weeks. 

He snarled his fingers, and his hands pounded together. Finally, after shaking off his heavy cough, his voice finally recovered a bit of power.

Starmer kept up his silly jig. He wondered whether the PM was still alive before the next election. It’s funny, but some Labour MPs are curious about Sir Keir.

Boris laughed and shook his head in pain. Boris shook his head in sorrow. He shouted.

Labour’s leader did have some good lines, but they lost their way in the endless stream of waffle. Starmer would be happy to eat a Jackie Mason short story and still have the ability to talk for more than Tolstoy’s War and Peace.

After reciting the PM’s latest woes, he asked the reporter: “Is everything okay Prime Minister?” 

Boris (pictured) launched himself at the despatch box and went off on one of his spiels about how we'd still be in lockdown if Starmer had his way

Boris (pictured) jumped at the despatchbox, and started a spiel about how Starmer could have his way with us. 

Boris was at the despatch box, and he began to ramble about Starmer’s idea of how lockdown would still exist if Starmer got his way. 

Conservative backbenchers faithfully whooped, shook their order paper. Everything except one. Theresa May only moved one eyelash.

These sessions feature the distinctive groans that signal the arrival Ian Blackford. Yesterday, as the SNP leader rose to his feet, the room practically howled in pain. 

The weekly sermon of his preacher remained the same: Tory chaos, Brexit, “the peoples of Scotland”, etc. This week, he asked the Prime Minister if he might call it a day. 

Boris might have asked Blackford the same thing, but decided not to. Boris may have asked him the same question, but he decided to not.

Last observation. Boris left unusually by choosing to go up the Speaker’s chair. 

Since the Owen Paterson affair, relations between Sir Lindsay Hoyle and him have been glacial. An ill-tempered PMQs last Wednesday did little to ease tensions.

While Sir Lindsay grunted and thanked him, the PM responded by the faintest of growls. No eye contact, no smiles. 

I’ve witnessed honey badgers with bad tempers be warmer towards one another.