The diary entries of Avicii, the late star and singer have revealed some heartbreaking details about his life before he took his own life in April 2018.
His journal entries have been included in Måns Mosesson’s upcoming book, Tim – The Official Biography of Avicii, which is due for release next month, and depict how the star, real name Tim Bergling, dealt with his substance abuse battles.
Måns spoke to his parents, Anki and Klas Bergling, family, friends, exes, peers and colleagues about the star to piece together his life story.
His diary entries were compiled from several rehabs and hospitals for his drug and alcohol addictions. On April 20, 2018, he committed suicide while on holiday in Oman with friends. This was two years after leaving the limelight.
Pained: Late star Avicii’s diary entries have shed light on the heartbreaking demons he faced before taking his own life in April 2018 (pictured in 2013)
Avicii became a worldwide star with the song Levels, but he was forced to stop touring for his battle with addiction and alcohol in 2016.
The cause of his prescription drug addiction was an obsession with painkillers. Avicii was 22 years old when she developed agonising pancreatitis due to excess drinking and the use of acne medication. She was taken to hospital on January 2, 2012.
He should stay sober at all costs for six months. Avoid junk food and avoid eating.
He began to write his journals here, admitting that he loved it.
Pained: His journal entries have been included in Måns Mosesson’s upcoming book, Tim – The Official Biography of Avicii, which is due for release next month, and depict how the star, real name Tim Bergling, dealt with his substance abuse battles
He said, “I had difficulty accepting not drinking again. However, all doctors recommended waiting at least a full year before I even consider having a beer.
‘Officially, I didn’t listen to most of the doctors. Instead, I listened the the couple who suggested it would be okay if i was careful. I was ignorant and naive and touring the world, still on the never-ending tour – because once you’ve circled it once, guess what?…
You can always start all over. Those were my most stressful and anxiety-free days for the last 6 years.
“The relief that comes from going from extreme pain and not feeling any, the knowledge that nobody is expecting you to do anything but wait (which is what is necessary to treat pancreatitis), then heal was immense. The insane schedule that I was following up to this point made it an incredible relief.
Shock: Wake Me Up artist Avicii shot to worldwide fame in 2011 with his song Levels yet he stopped touring in 2016 following a battle with alcohol and opioid addiction
In 2015, after an intervention from his family, the star went to stay at the $13,400 per week Ibiza Calm rehab facility where he chronicled his time in his diary.
It was written by him: ‘It required to be explained to my very logically, caveman-esque to me in order to fully understand its essence and how to harm me. Ouch, pain. Is it me? Feeling uncomfortable…
“Future Tim” deals with pain. Because there are too many pains in the present, Future Tim can deal with them better than current Tim.
Avicii traveled to Oman with a friend in April 2018. Before that, he emailed a friend about his meditation ventures.
The DJ was only 21 when he shot to fame in 2011, and turned to drinking to cope with fame and the party lifestyle (pictured at the Summerburst festival in May 2015)
After battling against his demons, he turned to meditation, focusing heavily on the works of Maharishi Mahesh Yogi – who teaches that one could reach the deepest state of consciousness, or enlightenment, and there would be no more suffering.
Maharishi’s teachings say that this level ‘cosmic consciousness” can be reached in 5 to 8 years. But Avicii desired to get there faster, so Avicii started meditating longer than his recommended 20 minutes.
His words were: “It feels as if I’m in a new default mode, which is quite new and scary. Although it felt like my fears of the past few days had caused me great harm, I can remember how to keep my focus on the breath.
Pains: On April 19, a fellow traveller Avicii had met on the trip contacted his father to express concern over the star’s meditation practices
Avicii, a traveller who had been on the same trip as Avicii, contacted his father April 19 to voice concern about the star’s meditation practice.
The star had been crying and not talking, refused to eat, was sitting in pain, and he said this. Klas was later notified by him that the star had committed suicide.
Last messages to the star showed his tortured outlook. One message read, “The shedding the soul is one last attachment before it begins!”
Samaritans can be reached at any time by anyone using any telephone number on 116123. Visit samaritans.org to find out more.