The Apprentice
Rating: 
Bangers and Cash
Rating:
Solved! Solved! The Apprentice (BBC1).
Unidentified voices warn them that it is only half an hour till the cars arrive. They will be taken to a swish London location where Tim Campbell (Karen Brady) and Karren Brady (Tim Campbell), wait in their arms like pub bouncers.
It’s still broad daylight at that point. These 30 minutes extended to almost four hours. Why is it that these office juniors are so confident?
It’s make-up. When the final task was set, cameras swarmed around the contestants to observe their beauty routines.
Alan Sugar, above, is the host of this season’s Apprentice. It’s sharper than ever and has more entertainment value than any other series.
It’s not just about lipstick or rouge, but prosthetics in full scale. It’s possible to need breathing equipment because of the amount of hairspray that is used in such small spaces. This is just for the boys.
The Apprentice 16th series is much sharper, more interesting, and less boring than the previous seasons. The past seasons’ flabby camaraderie has been replaced with a desire to cut each others throats.
Nick was this week’s winner project manager. He said: “I had the vision. I didn’t listen to anybody else.” Navid lost his temper and screamed at the camera: “Sophie is just silly.”
Without any pretence to co-operation, they are all subverting the rivals. Although it is quite unpleasant, this makes for a lot more enjoyable. It’s hard to believe that producers are trying to incite enmity by whispering into my ears, “Do you know what she has been saying about me?” Although I’m not going to tell any tales, . .’
The baby-business moguls have no need to be self-aware. Nick suggested to start his pitch dancing on the stage, like Theresa May. Nick had been given the job of selling wine trades a non-alcoholic beverage.
Sophie spoke out one unrelated word at time, “We.” Will. Take. Each. And-ev. Ery. Oneof. You. To. Para. “Dise,” she said, and her voicebox was apparently replaced by the dying computer in 2001’s A Space Odyssey.
Another twist was added to an otherwise rigid formula: after the showpiece, the apprentices made sales pitches to buyers.
This show has been a success because of the forced layoff during the pandemic. An old format has been modified to give it some new life.
It is now up to us all to make sure that no one light a cigarette in the house. This hairspray could go up as a gasworks.
It is unlikely that a Ford Model T could run on hairspray. However, the pre-war mass-production model can be made to work with almost any fuel other than kerosene or ethanol.
Derek Mathewson offered a 1915 Model for Sale Bangers and Cash (Yesterday) returned. Quick driving lessons: Starter button was on the floor. A lever is beside the steering wheel. The starter button regulates spark plugs. Reverse gear pedal works where brakes are on most cars.
Derek collects a handful of cars each week from collectors, and after some admiration, he sells them at an auction.
His prize this time was a white 1979 Clenet Roadster, owned by Motörhead guitarist Phil ‘Wizzo’ Campbell and designed by eccentric Frenchman Alain Clenet — or, as Derek pronounced it, Elaine Clennit.
This series, which is simple and straightforward, was designed for enthusiasts such as Roger who enjoys spending his free time tinkering on his motorbikes. Sue is his wife. She says to keep them in their overalls and you’ll know exactly where they are.