Why Ships Crashes (BBC2)
Rating: 
The Secret Life of Our Pets (ITV).
Rating: 
Twitter explodes with angry fans, who threaten that the 2027 end of the BBC license fee will result in the disappearance of all things wonderful and BBC, including Blue Planet, Peaky Blinders, and more.
Beeb’s natural life unit is unparalleled, it seems. And we all know better than to mess with the Peaky £^&%ing Blinders.
But you’ll notice nobody is extolling the virtues of an annual £159 poll tax to pay for the stodge that fills so much of the Beeb’s schedules — the formulaic house-hunting shows, the antiques hunts, the interminable cookery contests.
Real iniquity lies in that all viewers in the country are obliged to help make things like Monica Galetti’s Bicycle Trip Around Rutland and Stacey Solomon Repaints Your House.
Why Ships Crash (BBC2) is a prime example of a program the BBC doesn’t need.
Although it is heavy with stats, the text was disappointingly sparse in details.
Documentary describing the events surrounding the Ever Given container ship that ran aground in Suez Canal last January caused a delay across the international shipping routes.
CHRISTOPHER STEVENS: Why Ships Crash (BBC2) falls squarely into the category of programmes the BBC does not need to make. It was heavy on statistics but frustratingly uninformed about details (Pictured from Why Ships Crashes).
CHRISTOPHER STEVENS: A documentary like this has its place, of course — and that place is the Yesterday channel, slotted between films about retired blokes restoring a Sherman tank in a barn
However, there was not enough footage to show the impact of the accident. The scene had to be recreated by computer using cheap graphics.
The pictures of the ship digging into a sandy bank look like they came from a twenty-year-old PlayStation game.
Talking heads were mostly involved in the story, some of whom spoke only Arabic.
The Ever Given did not appear, however, second mate Ernie Caponegro, and Julianne Cona (engineer) from the ship that was behind it, told their stories.
The crew confirmed that the container ships were very large and got this one very stuck.
Even if it wasn’t for a supermoon which caused the greatest tide of the year by chance, the Ever Given may still exist.
Aside from these two interviewees, we also heard about a disgruntled businessman that waited for weeks to receive six refrigerator-stocked containers.
Official investigators never released their reports so we didn’t know why the ship collided.
It is possible that the ship was speeding in high wind, and its bow wave caused the ship to zigzag against the bank.
It was unclear who was to blame and why this doesn’t happen more often.
Instead we watched filler scenes about other disasters, in totally different places, with very dissimilar circumstances.
CHRISTOPHER STEVENS: The Secret Life Of Our Pets (ITV) included a segment on how researchers are teaching rats to drive battery-operated racing cars. Although this proves one thing or another, I’m too busy shouting at my wife to the contrary: “You’ve got must come and see this!” These rats have little cars. Pictured: A trio of young children observe a Hamster play with a ball and a rubber ball in The Secret Life of Our Pets.
Kazuza, a border collie from Brazil, regularly participates in stunts alongside Bruno Valente, his base jumper (pictured together in The Secret Life of Our Pets).
A documentary like this has its place, of course — and that place is the Yesterday channel, slotted between films about retired blokes restoring a Sherman tank in a barn.
It is harder to believe that the broadcast was paid for by our license fees and aired in Britain’s national broadcaster.
Rats live on every ship. We might allow them to steer future ships to avoid any crashes.
Secret Life of Our Pets (ITV) featured a segment about how scientists are training rats to drive electric racing cars.
It proves that something is wrong, but I don’t know what it means because I was so busy screaming to my wife “You have to look at this!” These rats have little cars.
Kazuza is a Border Collie that loves to parachut and also has a rabbit with lop ears who can throw a small basketball into the net.
Hugh Bonneville’s voiceover reassures us that all this is scientific, but it’s not a lie.
This is a group of adorable pets who do clever things. You don’t need anything more.