Couples therapy
BBC2, Monday
Rating: 
Kelvin’s Big Farming Adventure
BBC1, Monday
Rating: 
As you all know, I have your best interest at heart. This is why you should stop what you’re doing and go to your TV. Couples therapy.
It’s playing weekly on Mondays or is all available on iPlayer. There are nine episodes of 25 minutes each in the series. They were all watched together over an entire evening.
It’s raw, often uncomfortable, but also spellbinding and fascinating and complex and delicious. It is voyeuristic, for sure, but, at the same time it’s tremendously insightful. That’s my defence and I’m sticking to it.
Annie and Mau are the couples. Mau and Annie! He wants her to anticipate him and present them as a couple, where he retains all the power…but this shifts.
Four couples have twenty sessions with Dr Orna Guralnik, a New York therapist. Cameras are hidden behind one-way glasses.
This is a reality show, you could say, but it’s responsible, serious therapy, not the kind you see on Made In Chelsea. First, why would you agree to have your life filmed? Are your secrets and vulnerabilities more easily exposed?
Because, as far as I understand it, the therapy, which would otherwise cost £££££, is free. This seems like a fair deal to me. This is where real work can be done.
Every detail is recorded. Every ounce of body language, every shift, every touch (or not), every gaze, from loving to when they’re looking daggers at each other. This will always pull you under the rug.
It is possible that the most unlikely couple might find happiness. It is possible that the couple with whom you have most hopes might end up parting.
It is possible to see a little bit of your personal relationships. It is easy to see years of unmet desires, resentments and unmet needs. Your investment is in couples and their stories.
Elaine, who is extremely insecure, calls Desean multiple times daily, hoping for an instant response. His exhaustion is evident. ‘She wants more than I’m able to give her,’ he says.
She eventually reveals a back story that doesn’t explain away everything but does plainly show how cutting off the past can unconsciously colour the present. She is amazed by this revelation.
Then there’s Annie and Mau. Annie and Mau! They’ve been married for 23 years. He expects sex every day – sometimes three times a day. Annie didn’t give him a gift voucher, but she did arrange sex parties.
After he made her cancel the contract, he went to Italy in an exaggerated state, not wanting anything as meticulously planned.
Annie should anticipate his wants and needs, he says. If he’s thirsty, he says, he expects Annie to produce a glass of water before he’s even said anything.
Annie, place him into the garbage, you may think. However, things change and shift. His mother was unstable and neglected, so he has his own backstory.
He and his siblings, he says at one point, ‘are still waiting for our mother to take us to the swimming pool 35 years ago’. He holds all power and they present together as a couple. However, this dynamic can change.
Meanwhile, there are moments that are plain heartbreaking, as when Alan tells Evelyn: ‘I don’t think I have the want to pursue this any more.’ Which is another way of saying: ‘I just don’t love you enough.’ They’re finished, you conclude. They aren’t, however.
Dr Guralnik works hard, listens attentively and is never distracted. You will remember these phrases for a long time.
‘You have to really want the relationship and love your partner in a way that moves you to transcend yourself,’ she tells one couple. And I’ve now just realised that series two is available. So that’s where I’m headed, once we’ve dealt with Kelvin.
This is the main problem with Kelvin’s Big Farming Adventure can be summed up in two words: Clarkson’s Farm (Amazon).
The main problem with Kelvin’s Big Farming Adventure can be summed up in two words: Clarkson’s Farm (Amazon)
Kelvin also bought a tractor that was too big. Can you believe it? I was half-hoping Kaleb would rock up, or Cheerful Charlie, or our beloved Gerald (‘Har!’). But, alas, no.
Kelvin Fletcher (an Emmerdale actor, and Strictly winner) has acquired 120 acres near the Peak District.
He is otherwise a townie (Oldham) and, as he says: ‘What I know about farming could be written on the back of a postage stamp.’ Same here, but I think I’d know a pair of wellingtons would be a good idea. I just wanted to say that.
Also, the timeline was confusing to me. One minute it was snowing, the next it was in a Tshirt.
Maxine Peake voices the narration. The tone of this video is very casual. The humor is meant to make the viewer laugh as Maxine Peake struggles with sheep maggots, nearly vomits, and other such things. This kind of thing is much more fun elsewhere. (Now, what was that?
Some places had a slight sour taste. His wife Liz confesses she is allergic to horses and hay and ‘sunshine sometimes’. He says to her: ‘You just have to get on with it.’
He is still grumpy sometimes, so his mother has to remind him of this fact.
I wanted her to say to him: ‘You just have to get on with it.’ That was the most interesting aspect, in fact. You might even have to call Dr Guralnik.