Independence is a character trait that is extremely valued and means you possibly can ‘go it alone’ and ‘get issues achieved’ with out counting on others.
However being too unbiased might be damaging to your general wellbeing, an knowledgeable has warned, and drive you farther from these you is perhaps hoping to impress.
So-called hyper-independence is outlined by a want to refuse assist from others and try and deal with any and all points alone, even when this implies the person is extra prone to battle and endure.
These folks see accepting different folks’s assist as an indication of weak spot, and can put extra strain on themselves to have the ability to address extremely nerve-racking state of affairs.
But the way in which our society prioritises and values independence means these doubtlessly damaging traits might be left unchecked – and even celebrated.
Are you hyper-independent? Skilled reveal why refusing different folks’s assist on a regular basis and solely counting on your self might be harmful in your well-being. Inventory image
‘Independence might be seen as a part of the cultural worth of individualism, the place private uniqueness, private freedom and self-sufficiency, having management over your individual life, is held in nice esteem,’ Dutch enterprise psychologist Jan P. de Jonge instructed FEMAIL.
‘The extent to which we see ourselves as unbiased or dependent is a facet of our private make-up, our character.’
Why introverts usually tend to be hyper-independent
Jan. founding father of Individuals Enterprise Psychology Ltd, defined that introverts usually tend to be hyper-independent than extroverts as a result of they keep away from social interactions and subsequently have much less time to name on the assistance of others.
‘People who find themselves introvert are prone to be quiet, cautious, or much less interactive with others. Introverts get their vitality from their inside world, corresponding to private reflection on ideas and concepts,’ Jan stated.
‘It have to be famous right here that introverts, in addition to individuals who see themselves as extremely unbiased, don’t essentially lack social expertise.
‘As a substitute, they’re extra prone to direct their pursuits to concepts than to social occasions and being amongst others.
‘Hyper unbiased folks could present considerably comparable tendencies: they might slightly “kind issues out” themselves slightly than the depend on others – and be seen to depend on others.’
When hyper-independence pushes folks AWAY
‘One of many principal components linked to particular person well-being, fulfilment and happiness, helps others. It’s core to being human,’ Jan stated.
‘People who find themselves extremely unbiased could (nevertheless unintentionally) impede others from giving their assist. Furthermore, when assistance is being rejected this will likely have its personal damaging results on the one who desires to point out their compassion.’
He continued: ‘Individuals who are inclined to reject well-intentioned assist from others could also be seen as having an excessive amount of pleasure.
‘And, in spite of everything, all of us want different folks round us. We’re all depending on others – whether or not we prefer it or not.
‘One other draw back of being too unbiased is that it may be perceived as not having sufficient respect for “the opposite particular person”.
‘Though it might be innocent to be seen as unbiased, an excessive amount of of it may be seen as having little regard for the choice voice, one other’s perspective, or contribution.
‘Worse, it might cease an individual from having a way of accountability – apart from being accountable to solely oneself.’
It may possibly finally result in a downfall
Jan defined being too unbiased doesn’t promote different commendable social attributes, corresponding to with the ability to present appreciation for different folks’s concepts and opinions
And Jan went on to say that it’s possible refusing different folks’s assist and eager to do all the pieces by your self may lead you to experiencing failure.
‘Isn’t it the case that all of us depend on others, eventually?’ he requested.
The knowledgeable went on to say there was little or no acquire to get from being too hyper-independent.
‘In addition to being left to at least one’s personal gadgets extra typically, it’s prone to decrease the frequency with which we join with these round us and interact in social interplay.
‘Having a transparent tendency to keep away from assist and, even, keep away from asking for assistance is linked to better ranges of unhappiness and loneliness,’ he added.
‘Collaboration, bonding, affiliation, belonging, constructing and sustaining relationships: all of us want and depend upon this in our lives – even when some accomplish that greater than others.’