George Alagiah, Newsreader has shared his story about how his fight with cancer brought him closer to his wife than ever and has made him feel ‘content.
Alagiah wept openly after his second round of cancer treatment in October. He said that his relationship with his wife had grown more intimate since the time he was first diagnosed.
Although he acknowledged that his bowel cancer could end his life, he said that he regrets having it. However, he stated that he felt so many lessons from the illness and how they had shaped him as a person, and he wasn’t sure if he’d ever ‘give back the seven years’.
Alagiah (66) has been married for 36 years to Frances, who is an executive at the Fairtrade Foundation charity. They have two children, one in his thirties and the other at age thirty.
He recalled the moment that he was diagnosed with cancer and said, “Ah!” Fran is what I was thinking of. I just… I couldn’t bear the thought… of leaving her.’
Struggling to maintain his composure, he continued: ‘To sit opposite the woman you love… and to find a way of telling her that you might not make the end of the journey with her, is a form of intimacy. It is important to tell each other that the things you hoped for together might not come true.
‘It got us to a place where… we thought we had a great relationship, and we got a better one.
“Obviously I wish that I never had cancer. But I don’t know if I would have given the past seven years back. I have learned a lot about myself, and I now see life in a different way.
Alagiah (66) has been married for 36 years to Frances, who is an executive at the Fairtrade Foundation charity. Two sons, Alagiah and Frances, are in their thirties. They met while studying at university.
Alagiah was born in Sri Lanka, and moved to England with his family as a young boy. He was diagnosed first with cancer in 2014.
Three months ago, his agent informed him that the celebrity presenter would be taking a break after an ‘further spreading of cancer’ was discovered.
Alagiah said that radiotherapy and chemotherapy were being planned by doctors to kill the tumor and that he wanted to return to work.
Alagiah spoke out in an interview with a podcast called ‘Desperately Seeking Wisdom,’ where celebrities and other public figures talk about their mental health. It bloody gets you there. That’s the whole point of cancer. I’m sure it will.
When he learned he had cancer, his first instinct was to feel ‘cheated’ and robbed.
When he thought of his ‘great luck to meet Fran. She is my beloved and lover for all those years,’ he didn’t feel like an ‘infant’ anymore. According to him, his life now had a ‘divided in pre-cancer, as well as post-cancer’ phase. His ‘postcancer’ lifestyle involves more intimacy with his family and friends. He said, “I loved my father, but I’m not sure how intimate we were,”
“I have become more wise and my life has been richer.” It is important to be happy in the relationships that I have. To enrich them and help nurture them. It’s okay to feel vulnerable, and it’s OK to let people know.
He had the best relationship with his wife.
Alagiah answered that even he didn’t accept his cancer. Acceptance and contentment are the only way to go. It’s a gift that I accept and enjoy, rather than worrying about its end.
For his mental well-being, he recites several mantras. “Everynight I ask myself: Georgie boy, will you be there tomorrow morning?” Over the past seven years, I’ve heard the same answer every single day: “Yeah George! You’ll be here tomorrow!” I think, ‘F*** me, what a gift’.’
Alagiah admitted that it was simple to feel angry at being diagnosed with cancer. But he felt he had found ‘wisdom’ – though he regretted it had taken a terminal illness to make him ‘stop and think’ about what really mattered.
He stated, “We don’t need trauma to learn thoughtfulness and live in the moment.”
÷ Desperately Seeking Wisdom is a new podcast hosted by Sir Craig Oliver, Downing Street director of communications in David Cameron’s administration.