Sir Lindsay Hoyle was a spindly man with long legs, seemingly unable to sit still. His arms were pumping like an angry dad trying start a lawnmower.
We’ve had a couple of eruptions from Speaker’s Chair over the last week thanks to Parliamentary shenanigans, but this was the best.
A thermonuclear-charged eye-popper of prodigious proportions.
As we were halfway through PMQS, Boris Johnson was causing havoc by trying to poke the nest as far as he could.
Sir Keir starmer had been trying to tackle him with sleaze. But he tried anyway. Boris asked two questions and Boris attempted to get out of the situation by asking Sir Keir about his additional work with Mishcon De Reya’s swanky attorneys.
He was repeatedly told by the Speaker to remove it. It was not questions from the opposition leaders, it was Prime Minister’s Questions.
Sir Lindsay Hoyle was bouncing around in his chair, with his spindly legs and arms moving up and down, much like frustrated father trying to get his lawnmower started, wrote HENRY DEEDES
Sir Keir attempted again. Randox/Owen Paterson was his business. Boris smiled as a child would when it was time to take the family labradors’ tail.
He dares the Speaker by turning his back on him.
‘I am sorry but we still have not heard …’ It was then that Sir Lindsay sprang. “Sidddown Prime Minister!” He roared.
“I won’t be challenged. Although you may be Prime Minister in this country, in this House, I am the one in charge. Boris gave up.
Face innocent. Innocent face. This is where a wise man would pull stumps. A PM should never try to antagonize a speaker.
Boris, however, is not guilty. Starmer was accused by the Speaker of misconduct. Now, the Speaker could not believe his ears. “I want it withdrawn,” he declared.
Boris claimed he meant Starmer’s misconduct, but he insisted. Ho, ho! He stared at Sir Lindsay, ashen-faced. He sighed and said, “I don’t believe this has done any good for this House today.” His supporters winced.
Poor Sir Lindsay. It was a very unpleasant session. This was without doubt the rowdiest session since Brexit.
You will know by now that the PM was completely hopeless.
As we were halfway through PMQS, Boris Johnson was causing havoc by trying to poke the nest of the hornets.
His condition was evident. He could hear magma running down his throat. A large number of backbenchers were seated behind him.
Evidently, they don’t like the boss. SNP members offered a different explanation. “They have all had second jobs!” He shouted. It was not a more cheery mood on the front benches. As their adversary threw insults at them, ministers looked blankly.
Nearly everyone was happier hiding behind their masks. It was not a happy boat. Starmer did not cover his self in glory. He once called the PM a ‘coward’ and not a leader. Groan. It’s been just weeks since the murder of Sir David Amess and it already seems that we are back to calling names.
Boris was not much better when he faced the Commons Liaison Committee later.
His appearance was not good. He had pale skin and eyes that were eggy. Chris Byrant, Lab, Rhondda, gave him a little grapeshot over his Paterson business.
Sir Keir starmer had been trying to get at him using sleaze. But he tried anyway. Boris asked two questions. Both times, Boris attempted to get out of the situation by asking Sir Keir about his additional work with Mishcon De Reya’s swanky attorneys.
Paterson was admitted by the PM to having ‘fallen foul’ of the process.
Fallen foul? What is the worst thing that could have happened?
Boris is sized up by Ms Cooper in a way that’s quite chilling.
Vipers are likely to show more affection for little white mice.
His exchanges with Caroline Nokes, Con, Romsey (which he had shortly thereafter) were even more remarkable.
As you all know, Ms Nokes made claims that Stanley, the PM’s father, had slapped her at Tory conference several years back.
The topic? Public sexual harassment is a crime. Boris got up and sat down, finding interesting points to gaze at on the floor.
Sometimes, his eyes might attach to one of the sidewalls.
You can find it anywhere, other than right at La Nokes. A long and exhausting day.