My brain is permanently etched with the date and dance. November 13, 2021. Rose Ayling Ellis performs a romantic Latin dance with Italian Giovanni Pernice, her partner on Strictly.
It’s an awful piece of music — Symphony by Clean Bandit featuring Zara Larsson. It’s all synthesizers, and weeping.
Rose, EastEnders’ star dancer, moves beautifully despite her music. Dipping, twirling. Her confidence is radiant. You would never know to see her move that she’s been profoundly deaf since birth.
Rose, who has not only reached tonight’s final but is the favourite to win, is the one contestant who cannot appreciate the orchestra behind her.
Although she has a hearing aid — which enables her to pick up some of the music — the fluidity and precision of her movements is all down to a mind-boggling combination of her counting the beats, feeling vibrations, muscle memory and practice. Practice. Practice.
For a moment, think about it. It’s not just a feat of mental and physical strength. To realize that she has only ever heard snippets of Bach sarabande or Mozart sonata. This is how limiting it all was.
Then. . . The dance floor goes quiet halfway through the routine. The music ceases. Rose covers her partner’s ears, and they keep dancing. She leads her partner, as well as the many others, to the reality of their lives for the first time.
BBC handout photo: Giovanni Pernice, Rose Ayling Ellis at rehearsals for BBC1’s Strictly Come Dancing. Issue date: Saturday November 13, 2021.
It is silent for several seconds. You are either underwater or out of space. Rose keeps dancing. Rose keeps smiling.
Instead of this new, silent world being terrifying and, that dreaded word, disabled, it’s captivating and beautiful and moving. Roses fly.
As someone who’s been profoundly deaf since a childhood bout of measles, it was a rare moment of television that gave me goosebumps.
I’ll be honest, I’ve never been a Strictly fan. It’s too extrovert and old-fashioned. It’s comforting, yes. But cutting-edge? Never.
An assortment of celebrities, actors and pop stars competing for the title of TV’s worst. Sprinkled not just with glitter but the requisite diversity box-ticking we’ve come to expect of the BBC. Tokenism of its worst type is, in my opinion.
Rose danced, then I realized that Rose could also be dancing. And what I saw was incredible — not just that she could do the jive and the paso doble so convincingly, but that she’s smiling, all the time! She is completely content in herself.
This is amazing because it’s the first time I have ever been fearful, embarrassed and cowed in my entire life.
Rose Ayling Ellis-Ellis (deaf EastEnders’ star) and Italian pro Giovanni Pernice have been tipped for winning the Strictly Come Dancing final
There isn’t one photo of me as a child when I look happy. Instead, I’m scowling, anxious and confused. It was my worst nightmare that I’d be struck by the car. A teacher scolded me for failing to answer a question. Because they are tired of being yelled at loudly, boyfriends have to get rid of them.
The only deaf person I’d seen as a child was in the film Mandy, the true story of a girl born both deaf and blind. She learns to speak by feeling the vibrations of a balloon held against her lips: ‘B, b, b.’ That film terrified me. If only I’d had Rose to look up to.
I’ve never been able to enjoy key moments of my life. When I was married, I didn’t hear a word from the registrar. My husband had to remind me of his words with sharp elbows. I never did find out what he wrote in his vows, or what my brother said at my niece’s wedding. My mother’s funeral? Hymns, eulogy? There is not one hint.
My deafness is partly genetic, but mainly due, I’m told by my specialist, to a bad bout of measles aged ten that killed the cells in my inner ear. Family members never noticed my deafness or even mentioned it. It was just something I learned how to do.
My mum had seven children, so didn’t notice I just sat in a corner, never saying anything.
When I was in school, my seat was on the first row. This allowed me to crib from other students. For my first major job I employed an intern to help me repeat the steps and take notes. Ask anyone who has worked with me for my catchphrase and they will parrot, ‘What did he say?’
I was able to read lips. Avoided going to parties. It was a self-fulfilling prophecy that deafness would become permanent. My ability to hear decreased the more I was stressed. Because my brain is constantly flooded with adrenaline it blocks out all other essentials.
It is possible to walk and still function. Deafness can be described as an invisible disability. We’re not even allowed in the Paralympics. People don’t open doors, or smile. People don’t smile or open doors. They turn their heads and then look away.
The worst part is everyone assumes you’re rude: I didn’t ignore you — I didn’t hear you. Rose has been nothing but a revelation to me. Unlike me, she isn’t pretending she can hear. And she isn’t ashamed of being deaf.
During Strictly, we have seen Rose teach Giovanni British Sign Language (BSL) — she says he swiftly learned to sign: ‘Shockingly horrible.’ Even judge Craig Revel Horwood delivered ‘A-maz-ing!’ in sign language. That’s how mainstream it is!
Rose grew to be a Kentian and went to a school with extra support for the deaf. Rose studied fashion in university, before she became an actress.
She had small parts before landing the part of landlord’s daughter Frankie in EastEnders last year. It is a joy for her to see that the storylines she tells have nothing to do deaf.
During Strictly, we have seen Rose teach Giovanni British Sign Language (BSL) — she says he swiftly learned to sign: ‘Shockingly horrible.’ Even judge Craig Revel Horwood delivered ‘A-maz-ing!’ in sign language. That’s how mainstream it is!
Yet I never learned to sign, because I didn’t know any other deaf people. A neighbour was the first person I encountered. One sign was given by the neighbor. Two fingers were dragged on each side of my nose. What is its meaning? It is a woman of old age. Charming.
And for years, I didn’t want to give in and wear a hearing aid. Not just because I imagined them huge and pink (they’re not: modern ones are tiny), but because I had grown inured to the quiet.
In January 2018, however, I decided to go to Switzerland for a retreat to combat the fearful state I was in.
Rose Ayling Ellis and Giovanni Pernice look very relaxed when they arrive at It Takes Two in advance of the Strictly Finals on Dec 16.
It was completely car-free in the village, which I found amazing! I am able to move around on my own without high alert. Then, boom! And then, bam!
So I gave in and purchased several thousand pounds’ worth of hearing aids. It was amazing! It was a revelation. The owls can be very noisy! My washing machine beeped after it was finished. I keep saying, ‘What on earth is that noise?’ and it turns out to be an aeroplane.
Rose can hear some singing but cannot hear whole words. I struggle to understand accents and miss consonants. What happened to James Bond? I don’t know.
Covid? And face masks? Unable to lip read, I’m again tipped into that murky world of mumbling. The impact of masks on the deaf hasn’t been raised. It’s as though we don’t exist. Rose has made it possible for us to exist. Rose will win tonight. I’ll be trying to wail my jazz hands across the screen and yelling at her, even though she isn’t going to hear.
She will surely feel the positive vibrations that are coming her way.
Rose, your dance partner said you ‘don’t want to play the deaf card’. However, you did.
All of us will be heard if we lift the glitterball.