According to a therapist who specializes in sex, the following five tips can help couples make romance last: Prioritize sex; wait at least one year before getting married.
A self-described ‘expert on love and libido,’ Dr. Emily Jamea shared advice in a TikTok about how to keep your love alive.
This viral video has been viewed over 2.5 million times. In it, Dr. Jamea explains some of the secrets to making relationships work. She also shares five things that she would never do as a relationship/sex therapist who has over 15 years’ experience.
Houston-based Dr. Emily Jamea is a ‘expert on love and libido.’ She shared five mistakes that every couple should avoid if they wish to have a lasting relationship.
Her social media posts are filled with sex advice, and the therapist shares her secrets to keeping the flame alive in a relationship.
What is the best way to tell if someone is yours? Before you tie the knot, wait at least one year
Relationship expert says that couples must wait to get to know one another before they tie the knot.
Dr. Jamea advised that all couples wait to get to know one another before they can tie the knot.
She stated that she would not marry a person who had known her for less than one year.
According to the expert in sex, more people should allow for the “honeymoon” phase to end.
“It takes at most a year to get to know somebody.”
Couples often look for the “perfect time” to get married. But Dr. Jamea and Emory University researchers suggested that both parties consider timing.
A study conducted by researchers at Emory University proved Dr. Jamea’s first ‘rule,’ as they found that waiting longer before tying the knot can actually increase your likelihood of staying together forever.
The study surveyed over 3,000 people who are currently married or have been married in the past about different aspects of their relationships, and it found there was a significant correlation between the how long a couple dated before marriage and how long the marriage lasted.
If a couple had been together for less than one year, the chances of divorcing were about 20% lower among those who had been with each other for at least one year.
Couples that dated for at least three years had a 50 percent lower chance of divorcing.
The study also found that people who know their partner well before they enter a relationship with them are 50% less likely to divorce.
Move on from the past and embrace the future! Don’t follow ‘outdated dating rules’ that dictate you “can’t call” first.
Second, the relationship therapist recommends that you forget about ‘outdated’ dating rules. This includes the belief that women can’t call before men.
“One thing I love most about my husband, is that he always calls when he promises to, and if you feel like somebody, its okay to let them know,” she said.
A therapist will tell you the second secret to success is to let go of outdated dating guidelines
She said that the old dating rules of ‘women don’t have to make the first moves’ could often lead to problems with relationships.
Everybody’s favorite romcoms only reaffirm this rule – they encourage women to be cool, calm girls, who are not crazy or waiting for a man to join them to move. Kate Hudson is an example of that.
These movies are great fun, but they do not offer the most effective dating advice. Many people believe that these rules can be used to trick their potential partners into thinking we’re the right one.
As Dr. Jamea said, it is past time for all of us to put aside the dating rules and instead focus on what we want in dating.
You can feel more comfortable dating, and show your partner that you care by letting go. This will improve your relationship.
Taking your partner for granted? Do not be content with your partner.
The third key to building lasting relationships with Dr. Jamea was to keep the spark alive by following each other as you were at the start of your relationship.
Dr. Jamea’s 3rd trick? Don’t forget to have date nights
“You cannot get complacent or lazy in your love life, so don’t wear sweats every day.”
It’s important to continue dating your partner, no matter how many years you have been together. This can keep the romance alive.
The therapist explained that complacency can lead to a routine that’s a little too familiar.
It can make your relationship feel dull. After all, sharing a toothbrush with someone isn’t the most sexy thing.
You may believe you know all about your spouse, but there is always more you can learn every day.
It is equally important to be with your partner if you want to maintain a long-lasting and healthy relationship.
It is possible to make time for your partner’s weekly, bi-weekly “date nights” and allow them to connect and enjoy some quality time.
You can use these date nights to help get rid of stressors and pressures in your relationship, particularly if it is feeling stuck.
You will be able to remember why you and your partner fell in love. It will give you the opportunity to discuss meaningful topics.
It doesn’t take much to love your partner. You could go out for dinner or see a film together. Or even organize a party at home.
Your partner, in and out the bedroom, should be your priority! Intimacy can be a saving grace in a relationship
Dr. Jamea shared her fourth secret for a long-lasting relationship: “Never give up on sex.”
Dr. Jamea starts her fourth secret to eternal romance: “Never stop prioritizing sexual activity.”
According to experts, intimacy is the most important ingredient to a happy, healthy and lasting relationship.
After a few years, the novelty of a relationship can wear off and there is less intimacy.
Even if your relationship has been long, Dr. Jamea insists that you pay attention to your partner in every aspect of your life. However, many couples forget about their sexual lives due to work pressures and getting stuck in a routine.
Chris Kraft, Ph.D., director of clinical services at the Sex and Gender Clinic in the department of psychiatry at Johns Hopkins Medicine, also spoke to the significance of intimacy, calling it a ‘priority.’
He said that people often believe that sex must be an elaborate production, with lots of intercourse and/orgasms.
“When, in fact, it’s important for couples to be connected and intimate, particularly for many women.
“Intimacy can simply be talking, cuddling, or touching affectionately.
He stated that partners must also be open to ‘outercourses’, such as cuddling and kissing without being obligated to have sexual relations.
He added that the main point is to establish an intimate relationship and a strong bond with your partner.
“Think about the things that make you happy and close to your partner. Then, ask your partner how they can make that happen.
These days are common for everyone! Do not criticize your partner about sex matters
Dr. Jamea’s top tip for couples who want to make their relationships last is to never, ever criticize another person for any sexual issues they have experienced.
Dr. Jamea’s last tip? Never criticize anyone for having a sexual problem.
The love and libido expert stated that we all experience off days and criticizing can make a tiny hiccup into an enormous problem.
Critique can cause a great divide and increase stress, which could make you or your partner feel inadequate.
Communication can take many forms that aren’t threatening and make you feel secure.
This criticism is often more focused on men than it is women, as they are more likely to have erectile dysfunction.
Erectile dysfunction, also known as ED, is the inability of your erection to be firm enough for you to have sexual activity.
Healthline reports that ED is extremely common in men, and affects around a third.
The Massachusetts Male Aging study found that around 52 per cent of men experience ED, and that total ED increases from about five to 15 per cent between the ages of 40 and 70.
The Cleveland Clinic estimates that it’s normal to have trouble getting or keeping an erection for up to 20 per cent of the time and you should seek medical attention if you are having trouble maintaining an erection more than 50 per cent of the time.
Talking to your partner about whether or not you believe they need to visit a doctor is the best thing to do.
The video of Dr. Jamea drew many admiration from users who left comments praising her for her wise tips.
The video of Dr. Jamea prompted many people to praise her for her wise tips.
This should become viral. One user said that she is wise. Another added: ‘I love this list and saddened at the realization that your list isn’t common sense and automatic behavior when two people are in a romantic relationship.’
Someone else wrote, “These make sense to my eyes, but they don’t seem like common ideas or practices for others,”
A different individual commented, “I completely agree with number 1, but people get so defensive about it,”