Just as well the NHS hasn’t got much on at the moment. To help patients overcome trauma, they will be given free comedy lessons.
They are encouraged by GPs to enroll them in a six week course that teaches them how to perform comedy routines and write jokes.
A pilot scheme is being launched in Bristol this month, designed to help people suffering from anxiety, depression and post-traumatic stress ‘see the funny side’ of their predicament.
The courses are being run by comics including Angie Belcher, who is described as Comedian-in-Residence at Bristol University.
One minute she sounds like she is having a good time. (Somehow I didn’t expect the NHS would be hiring Chubby Brown or Jim Davidson to teach ‘vulnerable’ individuals how to tell jokes.)
An NHS pilot scheme in Bristol is designed to help people suffering from anxiety, depression and post-traumatic stress learn jokes to ‘see the funny side’ of their predicament
Comedy isn’t something you associate with modern universities — especially in Bristol, where they are busily ‘decolonising’ the curriculum, airbrushing history, renaming buildings and toppling statues in support of the Black Lives Matter madness.
Are patients who are referred to Ms Belcher required to bend their knees at the beginning and end of every session. That’s if they can.
One joke I’m pretty certain trauma victims won’t be taught is the old chestnut about the man who goes into hospital to have his leg amputated.
After the procedure, he asks his surgeon if he would like the good or bad news. Doctor, give me the bad news first. I’m afraid we’ve cut the wrong leg off.
And what’s the good news? Your shoes will be bought by the man in next bed.
It is guaranteed to bring a smile to the faces of those suffering from post-traumatic stress.
The courses are being run by comics including Angie Belcher (pictured) who is described as Comedian-in-Residence at Bristol University
Then again, there’s no such thing as a woke joke. These days, so-called ‘comedians’ make the young Ben Elton sound like Bernard Manning.
Still, Ms Belcher insists: ‘We are all naturally comedians. My work involves a lot with young people with gender dysphoria. These are people who recently came out, or struggle with race and class. At the end, they seem six inches taller.’
It would cost less to get people 6 inches taller than to purchase them those platform shoes that seem to be in fashion right now.
We’re not told how much this scheme is costing us. Who cares anyway? Certainly not the NHS, which has an insatiable appetite for taxpayers’ money and an unlimited ability for finding black holes to throw it down.
Laughter under prescription is just the latest expression of the money-noobject mentality.
Just down the road, Cardiff is where the NHS decided that it could tackle obesity by giving away bike rentals.
To help patients who were obese, GPs took them on 30 minute cycling sessions. The success of this program is unknown.
Not very, would be my best guess, judging by photos of some of the punters waddling out of Cardiff’s pubs at closing time (before that killjoy Dismal Drakeford called last orders in Wales).
‘Comedy isn’t something you associate with modern universities — especially in Bristol (pictured), where they are busily ‘decolonising’ the curriculum, airbrushing history, renaming buildings and toppling statues in support of the Black Lives Matter madness’
The NHS also came up with an alternative plan that would pay for lessons in golf to encourage men of middle age to exercise more. And provided free dance and painting classes for up to a million people suffering from ‘mental health issues’.
I thought I’d heard it all 20-odd years ago when a clinic in Scotland started handing out herrings to patients with heart problems, on the grounds that oily fish is just as effective as medicine in treating cardiac complaints.
That was long before the notoriously profligate and terminally useless Public Health England began giving away free condoms at food banks to ‘Silver Singles’ in an effort to reduce sexually transmitted diseases among the over-60s.
Public Health England was to be abolished but is actually still in operation. It has now been renamed to the UK Health Security Agency, which is far from being abandoned.
No doubt it’s already working on some other madcap scheme, such as free skydiving lessons for aerophobics — people with a fear of flying.
All these fripperies may seem like a mere bagatelle in the context of the £176 billion health service budget.
But when the NHS is constantly pleading poverty and turning away patients with life-threatening illnesses, the idea that it can still find the time to organise comedy lessons simply isn’t funny.
They’re having a laugh. And the joke’s on us.
Two brothers in Palestine are finishing a 22 year-old project to turn a retired Boeing 747 into an open-air restaurant on Nablus’ mountain.
Is this one of the planes Yasser Arafat’s PLO hijacked in the 1970s?
Taliban: They are still cutting, but not changing
When Kabul fell in August, there were attempts to conviWe are happy to inform you that the Taliban has changed. Afghanistan was now in the hands of a cuddly, caring Taliban 2.0, committed to women’s rights and tackling climate change.
The time had come to speak to the insane mullahs and invite the Taliban to join the international peace-loving democratic nations.
Television reporters even started talking in hushed, reverent tones about the new-look ‘Dhaalli-baaaan’.
Soft-headed far-Left members were happy to grant them the benefit. As I said at the time: If you believe that guff, you’re a better man than I am, Gunga Din.
True to form, the Taliban quickly reverted to type, murdering and raping their way across the country, banning education for girls and kidnapping child ‘brides’ as young as 12 for forced marriages.
All remnants of democracy and freedom have been destroyed. They’ve even chopped off the heads of shop window dummies.
The Ministry for the Propagation of Virtue and the Prevention of Vice declared that the mannequins are un-Islamic. You couldn’t make it up.
It sounds like an Afghan version of one of those popular, yellow ‘How To’ manuals. Beheading For Dummies.
Paganism’s The Job for Andy Pandy
Twelve years ago, I shared with you the news about the creation of a Pagan Police Association.
It was funny at first. I was especially amused to learn that the chairman, PC Andy Pandy worshipped Norse gods.
After further investigation, it was revealed his true name was Pardy. The Home Office agreed to establish a support group to help druids, pagans, and wiccans as well as police officers practicing witchcraft.
The Pagan Plods were called to investigate an apparent upsurge of far-Right extremists using pagan iconography.
This coincides with the anniversary of Washington’s invasion last year. The Capitol Building was invaded on the 1st of April.
My curiosity was aroused when I thought our Old Bill would join the fray, as they did with George Floyd.
It is not difficult to imagine them claiming that they fear an invasion by copycat pagans of Westminster.
How long before Andy Pandy is invited to lead a Jolly Boys Outing on an all-expenses paid ‘fact-finding’ mission to America?
He’ll be the one with horns on his helmet. Pay attention to where you are going.
The Lakes Vodka was discovered at an over-the-top wedding in Windermere. It’s fair to say we drank the Lakes dry.
Because none of us were aware that social distancing was a problem, it seemed prudent to conduct lateral flow tests when we returned home. I was positive for vodka. Do I need to be self-isolated?
Covid has claimed more casualties than first thought. We were told to go outside while we were in lockdown.
New figures show that 5,300 individuals were hospitalized after falling from playground equipment.
An additional 962 people were also struck by lightning and 349 were hurt by lawnmowers. Lightning struck 18 people on the daily basis.
It is only a matter time until ministers ban all slide, swing and roundabouts; mow your lawn is prohibited; climbing trees become a crime.
Wee Burney/Dismal Drakeford already have plans to make everyone wear a lightning conductor on each leg of their trouser legs when they leave the house.