Were we able to confirm that Carrie Antoinette had a baby? Is it Boris’s deceptionary tactic?

Who would not want the Prime Minister, after all, to run into Hamleys and purchase a Cabbage Patch doll, which can then be paraded before the cameras?

We would all be unaware that most photos are pixelated by the media.

Boris might be able to breathe a little easier when a baby arrives. He can then work out how to get himself out of this mess.

OK, so I jest. You don’t need to be a conspiracy theorist or swivel-eyed conspiracist to see that the Lockdown Lite was rushed out Wednesday night to distract from multiple car accidents piling up on Downing Street.

The arrival of a newborn might buy Boris a bit of breathing space while he calculates how to wriggle out of the latest fine mess he's got himself into

Boris might be able to breathe a little easier when he has a baby.

Boris was greeted by The Two Ronnies of Doom with their blood-curling predictions and priapic graphs, and talk of Christmas parties quickly ceased as Covid’s full horror set in.

It is true that the shocking revelation, not for the first time, that there was one rule for them all and another for everyone else is extremely damaging. This will be hard to forget.

However, in light of the economic and social damage that the restrictions will cause, it doesn’t matter if staff from No. 10 were present at an illegal cheese-and wine party last year.

When Boris turned up flanked by the Two Ronnies of Doom, with their familiar priapic graphs and blood-curdling predictions designed to terrify us into submission, talk of Christmas parties went on the back burner briefly as the full horror of Covid over-reaction dawned yet again

Boris arrived at the Two Ronnies of Doom flanked with familiar priapic charts and blood-curling predications to terrorize us, so talk of Christmas parties was put on hold for a while as Covid’s full horror set in.

We were told 36 hours ago that Plan B would be insufficient. It was dusted and will come back next week.

If the risk is so high, then why not next week and not right now?

Goodness knows how many people might be infected by the Omicron variant if they spread so fast.

Bring out your dead!

Covid alarmists believe that at most one million people will have the virus by year’s end. They’ve proven wrong in the past, so we shouldn’t be surprised by their more optimistic predictions.

With all evidence suggesting this variant is a mild illness, it’s not surprising that the nation has been placed under virtual house arrest.

It is possible to live a normal life thanks to Kate Bingham’s amazing vaccination program.

However, the odds of Lockdown Lite delivering a coup de grace for struggling hospitality businesses, who were relying upon the Christmas period as a means to cover crippling Covid-inflicted loss, are now much lower. 

Restaurants and pubs report an explosion of cancellations despite the fact that the PM has exempted them from wearing mandatory masks and encouraging people to continue with their celebrations.

It’s possible to face both sides at the same time. These new rules have no logic. Why are cinemas and shops, where the wearing of masks is mandatory, so much more dangerous that Dog and Duck and Chez Guevara’s?

There's no logic to the new rules. Why are shops and cinemas, where mask wearing is once again compulsory, more dangerous than the Dog and Duck and Chez Guevara?

These new rules have no logic. Why are cinemas and shops, where the wearing of masks is mandatory, so much more dangerous that Dog and Duck and Chez Guevara’s?

Boris believes Christmas parties in restaurants and pubs are safe. Why did he succumb to “the experts”, who would prefer lockdown to continue for all eternity?

Given that both the Government of the Broadcast Media and Radio have worked for the better part of two decades trying to scare people to death it is no surprise some are afraid and happy to crawl back under their duvet when a new “variant” emerges.

It is likely that there will be widespread acceptance of Covid Stockholm Syndrome, especially among those who already have. Many others will follow suit, but they’ll still be fuming. Most of the rest will ignore these new rules. The rest of us will ignore the new rules if Downing Street is incapable of following their regulations.

The official return of Working From Home to the Foreign Office is still manna from Heaven for those bone-idle balancers who were so enthralled by the Afghanistan evacuation.

There was nothing to see, people, we just obeyed orders.

Most concerning is the impending introduction of vaccine passports. Boris1.0 would have fought for it with all his might. Boris 1.0 would have stated that he would up until the moment when push came to shove. At which point he could have changed his mind and gone missing. This isn’t about third runways or bulldozers.

As I have said, Boris has contributed not only to the national gaiety over the years but has also made significant achievements.

Firstly, saving London by Red Ken Livingstone. Then, liberating Britain from the tyranny imposed on it by the EU. Finally, seeing to Oh! Jeremy Corbyn’s gormless middle class groupies.

As the Mail said yesterday, Brexit — while not yet perfect — is beginning to bear fruit, bringing with it investment and thousands of new jobs in deprived areas such as Sunderland. But, it is beginning to look a lot like Monty Python’s What Have The Romans Ever Do for Us? sketch. Reverse.

The highest taxes ever since 1950s, record cross-Channel migrations, stop-start locksdowns, cycle lanes; high fuel prices; scrapping traditional cars and gas boilers for that rare butterfly Net Zero. . .

Imagine if a Conservative government would make us poorer, colder and more free than we want, no matter how much or little it might be.

Boris was able to defy all the doomsters, and opened up Britain this summer much faster than any other EU country. However, he has now switched to safety first mode based on the weakest evidence.

His best work comes when he is strong in leadership. This was evident during Brexit. It doesn’t matter if he is in the business for his own gain, as long as he does what he has to do. He’s not a philanthropist, he is a politician.

However, he has been spending a lot of time in the office lately. Since he was discharged from hospital with the virus, he hasn’t been himself.

It’s either long Covid or just a pleasure to be with us. No matter the reason, he must get his grip. Sharpish. Sharpish. Too many teenageryboppers run wild in Downing Street. Allegra Stratton lost her job due to the infuriating video.

Boris isn’t immune, despite the bumbling act of ‘Accidental Prime Minster’ and his repeated pretenses that he is innocent before events.

There are too many teenyboppers running wild in Downing Street, too much infighting, too many leaks. That excruciating video, which cost Allegra Stratton (above) her job, smacked of the 'We are the masters now' arrogance of the Blair years

Too many teensyboppers are running amok in Downing Street. There is too much infighting and too many leaks. Allegra Straton was fired by Allegra after she saw the video. It reminded her of Blair’s arrogance that “We are the masters now”.

While loyalty is admirable among staff, the disingenuous attempt by Mr. Smith to hide his involvement in the cheese-n’wine scandal has backfired spectacularly.

We have all long ago factored his economy into ours when it is convenient. He came across Lesley Gore this week.

It’s mine party. I will lie if necessary. . .’

It’s not a great look to see the country being forced to endure a horrible Christmas, even though it follows the rules.

The ying-yang has been jiggered up with pneumonia, the flu, and triple doses of flu. And yet we are still told that Plan B, which earlier this week wasn’t necessary — cross your heart and hope to die — starts on Monday and lasts at least until the New Year.

We need to know how we can be sure that Plan C won’t happen in 2022.

Is this really the end, when the weights drop from our eyes, and we realize that we have been bought a Boris-shaped puppy?

Maybe. Although the Downing Street party may be only five minutes long, these are small steps. All of them add up. This week, more than 50% of those surveyed said they would like to see Boris’ back.

Yet. Yet, I don’t see any excitement for Labour. Keir starmer was at full swing waving his shrouds during PMQs. It was a valid point. However, he retains all of the charismatic appeal and popular support that a Remainiac Left-wing lawyer from Islington can offer. This is what he is.

Boris is our best option when we look at the waste on the Tory or Labour front benches. He is also a survivor.

Stephen Glover’s description that Boris was a “greased porclet” is a wonderful one. It will be difficult for him to get out of the midst of Downing Street’s incredible chaos. It’s not impossible.

I believe he is betting on people not paying much attention to the Christmas rules and Omicron sliding off a cliff in 2019. He’s also getting some votes because he has a new bay bee.

A spell of paternity leaves might just be what the doctor ordered right now.