Tom Parker Bowles & Olly Smith: Consuming out










A legendary Mayfair hang-out has been reborn. Tom visits the brand new Langan’s and provides his verdict

The lavish bar at Langan’s: ‘The place just reeks of cash,’ says Tom

The lavish bar at Langan’s: ‘The place simply reeks of money,’ says Tom

Some eating places are scented with garlic, others aromatic with the odor of scorching beef. However at Langan’s, the place simply reeks of money. As a result of this much-loved Mayfair outdated timer, as soon as dominated over by the legendary (and legendarily nicely oiled) Peter Langan, has had a facelift. One which doesn’t simply contain the odd nip and tuck. Somewhat just a few hundred litres of liquid lucre, pumped direct into its flabby outdated veins.

In a lavish downstairs room nearly completely populated by besuited males, white tablecloths are thicker than an America’s Cup sail, whereas huge napkins are artfully embroidered with Langan’s sprawling signature. Workers are clad in immaculate outfits, banquettes lined in a marine inexperienced velvet the color of Soneva Fushi sea, and cutlery is heavy sufficient to combat off any company raider.

Service is well the most effective factor about our lunch, swift, smiling and never overly intrusive. The wine checklist, although, is precipitously priced, identical to the meals itself. I do know that is Mayfair, the place punters panic if costs are too low. However over £100 for a roast rooster for 2 and £24 for roasted cauliflower appears extreme, even for the hungriest of hedgies. And it’s not just like the cooking even justifies these costs. OK, so French fries are respectable, as are roasted brussels sprouts. My Veal Viennoise is okay too, a kind of gussied-up Wiener Schnitzel, utilizing fillet, cooked pink, coated in crisp panko breadcrumbs. However at almost £50, it’s pure edible affront. The model at The Wolseley is healthier, and almost half the worth.

There’s an odd salad involving half a small lobster (a less expensive Canadian import, I’d say), correctly cooked however with aggressively sharp florets of pickled cauliflower that appear to have escaped from one other dish.

Worst of all is dressed crab on toast, which resembles chilly cat sick. It’s method too heavy on the dill, a bully of a herb, and never even correctly picked. We pull shards of shell and cartilage from the uninteresting meat. On the backside of this icy mess sits a soggy disc of toast. It’s so goppingly terrible that one chew is sufficient. No less than they’ve the grace to take it off the invoice. The entire place is slick however unhappy, all swagger and no soul. The room’s all proper, however the meals’s a bore. Not a lot the rebirth of a legend, as a moist, dreary squib.

About £75 per head. Langan’s, Stratton Avenue, London W1; langansbrasserie.com

 

 

DRINKS: Olly’s wealthy white wines

Richness in whites usually comes from soaking in oak barrels to spice up texture and depth. However some grapes equivalent to Gewurztraminer from Alsace have huge focus – on this case, a lychee the scale of the moon. Pinot Gris is one other good instance, with mellow opulence good for spicy takeaways. Selecting whites from hotter climates, particularly within the southern hemisphere, is one other nice shortcut to huge fruity vino. These are spot-on for our months of moody climate, to sip paired with creamy dishes, roast pork or only a bowl of luxurious nibbles on the couch. 

WINE OF THE WEEK Loimer Manhart 2018 (12.5%), from £14.99, Majestic. Savoury Austrian blend with comet-like brightness. Incredible with salty cheddar.

WINE OF THE WEEK Loimer Manhart 2018 (12.5%), from £14.99, Majestic. Savoury Austrian mix with comet-like brightness. Unbelievable with salty cheddar.

Found Grenache Blanc 2021 (14%), £8, M&S. Joyful as an operatic apple in full song – wait for the secret spice on the finish. A big apéritif.

Discovered Grenache Blanc 2021 (14%), £8, M&S. Joyful as an operatic apple in full track – await the key spice on the end. A giant apéritif.

Taste the Difference New Zealand Pinot Gris 2020 (13%), £9, Sainsbury’s. Luxuriant texture with fleshy pear-fresh fruitiness. Perfect with spicy dishes.

Style the Distinction New Zealand Pinot Gris 2020 (13%), £9, Sainsbury’s. Luxuriant texture with fleshy pear-fresh fruitiness. Good with spicy dishes.

Bird In Hand Two In The Bush Chardonnay 2020 (12.5%), £14, Tesco. Aussie excellence that tastes like a mini-Meursault. Exceptional quality for the cash.

Chook In Hand Two In The Bush Chardonnay 2020 (12.5%), £14, Tesco. Aussie excellence that tastes like a mini-Meursault. Distinctive high quality for the money.

The Society’s Exhibition Alsace Gewurztraminer 2017 (14%), £15.50, The Wine Society. Rich as Turkish delight and enthralling as marmalade dreams. Pour with a Chinese takeaway.

The Society’s Exhibition Alsace Gewurztraminer 2017 (14%), £15.50, The Wine Society. Wealthy as Turkish delight and enthralling as marmalade goals. Pour with a Chinese language takeaway.

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