Olivia Colman has already scooped Best Actress nominations from the Golden Globes and London Critics’ Circle for her performance as Leda in The Lost Daughter, which opened in cinemas last week. It is about what it takes to be a mom and it poses the crucial question: “Is Leda a bad parent?”
Against the backdrop of recent weeks – where we have learnt of the absolutely horrendous abuse of Star Hobson by her mother and stepmother, and the fate of Arthur Labinjo-Hughes – Leda’s deficiencies are small beer.
The film does a great job of highlighting the fact that women often find it hard to fulfill responsibilities society expected.
Colman, together with co-stars Jessie Buckley (who plays the younger Leda) and Dakota Johnson, subtly but powerfully pinpoint the rollercoaster of emotions so many mothers will identify with The love, the fear, the frustration, the exhilaration, the boredom… I could go on.
Olivia Colman has already scooped Best Actress nominations from the Golden Globes and London Critics’ Circle for her performance as Leda in The Lost Daughter (pictured), which opened in cinemas last week
Not all women want to be mothers, but most do. But until this happens, we don’t really know what it involves. We have mothers to look up to and make friends with our children’s moms. It is difficult to picture what it feels like until you have the tiny, vulnerable child in your care.
My husband and I left the hospital in safety with our baby, then we drove home empty-handed to take care of our little boy.
It was frightening. The new, precious baby was in constant danger. He was always there, and I couldn’t imagine ever feeling secure without him. This basic fear was a combination of exhaustion, love and fear that lasted for years.
Even now, 26 years on, the anxiety and adoration remain – though, thankfully, the exhaustion has gone.
Pictured: Alexandra Shulman
In The Lost Daughter we see in Leda a woman who at one stage simply can’t deal with, in her words, ‘the crushing responsibility’ of children. Her actions are what most women want to do, but not enough for the story. She puts her academic career and identity above her children’s.
Call it escape, call it abandonment, call it self-indulgence – it’s not what we think of as the behaviour of a good mother. As Leda grapples with that decision – the right and the wrong of it, and the places in between – so does the viewer.
Although we all want to be mothers who are perfect, it is hard for most of us to imagine what this might look like. However, in order to be mothers we must hold onto something about ourselves before our role is taken over by us.
It’s one of the many reasons I felt so lucky to have worked in an office throughout my child’s life. Sometimes it seemed impossible to find the right balance. However, it was much easier than trying work with a screaming child. This helped me find the value I was looking for in life other than the demanding task of being a mother.
It is difficult to solve the nest egg puzzle
I’ve reached that age where my pension is obsessing me. The word pension, which for so many years was a distant concept, suddenly seems to be close at hand. As is common, I hired professionals to assist me in making decisions and to provide guidance on the best course of action. But it turns out clarity isn’t easy to come by.
A few years back, rule changes allowed us to free up our pensions to be transferred from the old final salary plans into an easy-to-access cash account.
But the City regulator is so terrified that we might make a dreadful – and irreversible – mistake that it has put in place a labyrinth of regulations that leave advisers absolutely unable to give you any information without hedging it with double or even triple negatives. What do I do with my 30+ years of hard work? There is no clear answer.
Rome or Eddie? It’s no contest
Seats for Eddie Redmayne’s popular Cabaret are only available at £250 until late March when the casting changes. I would have paid £100, perhaps a bit more, but £500 for a pair? That’s a trip to Paris or Rome.
Like so many other plays, Cabaret has been forced to close as Covid takes yet another hit on theatreland. How does that make any sense?
Seats for Eddie Redmayne’s popular Cabaret are only available at £250 until late March when the casting changes. I would have paid £100, perhaps a bit more, but £500 for a pair?
Only people like me get jabs.
We waited for our boosters for almost four hours in the queue at the local library. It stretched for several blocks, from 10am to 4pm.
The jab was on offer to anyone over 18 but the crowd was almost entirely white, middle-class over-30s, despite our neighbourhood’s demographic being extremely diverse. Is this due to the well-known vaccine hesitancy in the younger and certain ethnic minorities? Or was it that many employers aren’t giving people time off in working hours to get jabbed?
I’ve decked the halls – with cardboard
Online shopping is so common in our house that the hallway now looks almost like an area of Royal Mail. The packaging is also out of control. Where to put the endless deliveries with tape stuck all over them that can’t go in the recycling?
We should forget about progress sending us into space and the male contraceptive pills. A self-combusting cardboard container would prove far more valuable.
Dear friends, once more to the brunch!
With Omicron cases flying, there’s more to it than cordite when you go to a restaurant. We’ve been taking advantage of being able to get a table just about anywhere last-minute, but there’s an undeniable sense of venturing into the battleground, head down into the fray, and hoping to come out unscathed.