Amanda Lenahan is a Harrogate mother-of-two. She is returning to her retail job after just three in the afternoon. As she pulls into her drive — she’s on handsfree — she sees three boxes and two bags on her doorstep.
‘I live in a nice area fortunately, we’ve never had anything taken. Delivery men know that it’s best to get rid of the item immediately. We’re on first name terms with them.’
It turns out that this is not all of it. Over the past 20 months, since the start of the pandemic, Amanda’s shopping habit has spiralled almost beyond control.
Her purchases include shoes, boots, jewellery, bags, hats, jewellery, books and beauty products. She also purchased furniture for the garden, as well as side tables, rugs, and toys.
UK-based women revealed how their online spending on little luxuries escalated to something close to an addiction – including Amanda Lenahan, 56, (pictured) from West Yorkshire, who admits much of the exhilaration comes from finding a bargain
Amanda has been suffering from an addictive disorder for the past 56 months.
Which amount has she spent? She says she doesn’t like to think, but it’s comfortably in the thousands.
‘It starts off as the things you need, and then it moves on,’ she says. ‘At first it was boredom, during the lockdowns, and the excitement of things arriving. It is still thrilling to receive parcels, even after months.
‘My deliveries are the same now if not more than during lockdown. I’ve got into the habit of using online. As long as there is a good returns policy, I am happy to buy anything.’
She estimates she keeps 80 per cent of what she buys and anything she regrets goes on eBay — usually about 15 items a week. She views her online shopping obsession as an ‘extravagance’, but one she can afford.
Data published this month shows that Amanda was one of many million of us who regret locking down purchases.
Britons spent more than £6.6 billion on pandemic purchases that are no longer used and gathering dust across the country.
The How We Live report, commissioned by Aviva, found nine out of ten of us spent an average of £1,205 on ‘treats’ to see us through these tough times. Music instruments, cooking appliances, pizza ovens (home gyms), gaming equipment, and hot tubs are some of the most regretted items.
Katrina Young (pictured), 41-year-old from Kent was anxious about her family’s finances as she spent money on food, clothing, and equipment, while her income dropped during the pandemic.
Amanda, who lives with her 18-year-old twins Chloe and Luca, and husband Des, 60, a company director, says her biggest mistake has been an unused £249.99 carpet cleaner. ‘It came with a million tools and is still sitting in my garage.’
She admits much of the exhilaration comes from finding a bargain, whether that’s a small beauty buy or a Prada handbag that would usually cost £1,700, discovered on eBay for £500.
Is this a warning sign that something is more serious?
Many of us in the United States have gotten into the practice of retail therapy. The weekend saw the UK’s biggest Black Friday sales ever with shoppers spending billions.
In the last 12 months, Britons spent more online time than anyone in any European country. According to the latest analysis of our internet habits, UK adults spent an average of three hours and 37 minutes online each day in 2020 and the UK’s online shopping bill grew by 50 per cent, topping £110 billion for the first time.
Experts, including Emilie Bellet, founder of women’s financial community Vestpod, have dubbed it ‘emotional spending’. ‘Emotional spending is when you spend money on something in order to change how you feel or exacerbate a current state,’ she explains. ‘When you feel bored, stressed, anxious or lonely, you look for something that is going to make you feel better fast. Or you might emotionally spend when you feel good because you’re excited and want to thank or congratulate yourself for something.’
Analysis of internet usage in the UK shows that adults spend an average time of 3 hours 37 minutes each online. The online shopping bill has increased by 50% (file image).
Purdue University scientists in Indiana have revealed that our fear of the unknown makes us materialistic. Dr Eugene Chan, who co-authored the research published in the journal Psychology and Marketing, which draws on the experiences of more than 2,000 people from the UK, US and China, said: ‘Covid elicits many emotions, including fear. One way to deal with fear is to purchase more material goods. It offers some sort of physical, tangible, security that one can hold and touch which helps allay those fears.’
Sally Green (58), a London-based author, says that what started as a stoked-up routine to help her cope with a lack of sleep now looks more like compulsive behavior. ‘My excuse during lockdown was that I was never going anywhere or seeing anyone and, at the end of the day, I needed something to cheer me up. Although we have now been released, I feel that the world and its turmoil is still very troubling. So I accept some good things.
‘My mortgage is paid off now, so my new justification is I can invest that amount in something else.’
You can find everything she has bought, from silk pillowcases to kitchen gadgets to winter coats to garden plants to Baukjen legs to designer suitcases to garden lanterns to scatter cushions. ‘Once I had to get oyster shuckers sent overnight by Amazon Prime because I’d ordered 14 oysters but had no way of opening them.’
Two of her most regrettable — and non-refundable — buys have been a soda stream that doesn’t taste nice (£70) and an unnecessary microfibre duvet for £120. She estimates she spends easily upwards of £500 a month on little luxuries, including theatre tickets and dinners out now freedom has been reinstated — and it’s not always easy to absorb.
Katrina (pictured) contacted Citizens Advice, an organisation that provides free confidential financial advice, to improve her budgeting and cost-saving techniques
There were also problems when the binmen wouldn’t collect her cardboard boxes in addition to regular waste bins. ‘Now I have to break up every single delivery box into tiny pieces to keep everyone happy,’ she says. ‘I give my partner boxes to smuggle into his bins, too.’
The past twenty months have seen a huge impact on the retail industry. Shopping online boomed due to the closure of essential stores.
Citizens Advice charity network says that 96% of people have purchased products online in the past year, and 51% of Britons rely more on click-to buy purchasing.
Amazon reported a 70 per cent increase in earnings in the first nine months of 2020 globally, up by £4.2 billion.
There were 200 million additional parcels sent last year via the courier and postal systems, creating a complete cardboard shortage.
While shopping can be a positive thing for the economy, there are some people who have developed new and more problematic spending patterns during lockdowns.
Events like Cop26 have helped focus our attention on the climate downsides of rampant consumerism, but it doesn’t help that online retail has become so easy. It’s much more difficult to buy impulse when you have the hassle of having to get on a bus and give a card to a cashier. It takes only a fraction of the time to click on PayPal or a virtual payment method that you have saved, so purchases can be made even when there are no immediate emotions like fear, loneliness, or anxiety.
Andrew Harvey, an addiction counsellor has seen an increase in the number of people who seek help with addictive behaviors in his Nottingham-based online therapy clinics (file image).
Clearpay and Klarna offer innovative ways to purchase without any immediate financial impact. If we leave the site, email reminders remind us that our business is not over.
Katrina Young was a 41-year-old business consultant who laughed with coworkers over Zoom calls discussing how online shopping had replaced going out.
After several months spent adapting her consulting business to the demands of remote and online working, she reached an important crossroads. She was now a single mother of two Kent boys aged 11 and 19.
‘My income was down, but I was spending much more on food, clothes and business equipment including books and courses to help me up-skill. My anxiety was overwhelming about the future of our household. My spending habits were a real concern and I was feeling negative emotion around shopping that I didn’t feel before and I didn’t want it to filter down to the kids. Many things we were buying were necessary, but some weren’t.’
Citizens Advice is a confidential organisation providing free financial advice to help her improve budgeting and save money.
With help, she has fine-tuned her monthly food and non-essential spending budget to £350, reduced her bills and placed a greater emphasis on spending wisely on things she needs or make a real difference to her mental health. She’ll buy skin products to combat the effects of being indoors with central heating, for example, and home cooks more so she doesn’t feel in a financial frenzy by the end of each month.
Katrina understands that there is a fine line between emotionally spending being a harmless, enjoyable activity, and turning into something sinister. ‘When you buy something you have a surge in dopamine — you feel good — but soon afterwards you start to feel the same emotional state you did before, such as boredom or loneliness. This happens subconsciously. That’s where it becomes an issue,’ explains Emilie Bellet. Andrew Harvey, an addiction counsellor has seen an increase in the number of people who seek help with addictive behaviors in his Nottingham-based online therapy clinics.
‘The ones that get attention are usually substances — drink or cocaine. However, having too many packages at your home can cause serious damage. Compulsive spending is a way to increase compulsive behavior. It causes debt, depression and can exacerbate other struggles.’
Andrew said an indicator you’re spending unwisely is keeping your spending habits secret and hiding boxes (file image)
A good indicator you’re spending unwisely, explains Andrew, is when you continue to shop even though you’ve made a deal with yourself not to. ‘Keeping your spending habits secret is another. You have to question why you’re hiding your boxes from your spouse. Another thing to avoid is shopping online for things to purchase. For me, that’s a red flag.’
Social media can feel like a spider’s web for emotional spending. Visa did an analysis in 2013 that showed that 40% of UK’s purchases were made through social media.
Pop-up ads and flash sales, along with reassuring comments from influencers, encourage us to click to-buy. Artificial intelligence and targeted advertisements allow machines to know exactly what we are looking for before we buy.
A 64-year-old retired property developer who wishes to remain anonymous developed an addiction to buying interiors via Instagram accounts during lockdowns. It has been difficult to stop shopping since then.
‘My husband says I am single-handedly keeping the economy going,’ she says, detailing how she spends hours each day scrolling through vintage finds and independent dealers who put one-off items up for auction.
‘The fastest person to write, “Yes please” in the comments gets it. So now I’ve become very aware of seller’s routines — for example, if they have children I know they are unlikely to post during bathtime — and I have alerts for when favourite accounts post new items. It is like a drug. When I hear that ping I career across the kitchen to get to my phone in time.’
A keen eye prevents costly regrets. She buys a lot for grandchildren and children, but it’s hard for her to decline items such as pretty china and gingham eiderdowns. ‘Once you’ve bought one thing, it’s like your wallet has opened; you know you can buy more from that person and save on postage.’ Her daughters have told her she has a problem, which she accepts.
You can stop buying unnecessary items by taking certain steps. First, You can choose to shop for non-essential products in a physical store now that the High Street has reopened. This gives you ample time to decide if it is something you want.
Kate Nightingale is a consumer psychologist who suggests placing barriers in order to avoid spending. She recommends deleting any stored bank details, deactivating your PayPal account, and putting credit cards away in another room. Don’t buy immediately, she advises, but instead let things sit in the basket for hours, or even days, to see if you still feel the same about them later.
‘It’s about trying to take a step back,’ agrees Emilie. ‘Emotional spending is fine, so long as it is done in a controlled way — not a vicious cycle that lands you in the red, steeped in regret or unable to pay for the important things.’