Great British Bake Off

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What we do in the Shadows

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Maybe it’s because we were all stuck indoors for months practising, but everybody this year seems to be so good — at everything.

Strictly’s celebs have proven to be outstanding right from the beginning: TV host AJ Odudu and chef John Whaite could both be professional chefs. Blankety Blank contestants appear smarter than they were in the past.

Standardization Great British Bake Off(C4) were at an all-time high. That was starting to get awkward when we made it to the quarter finals.

None of the remaining five deserved to be eliminated — in other years, any one of them could have been a runaway winner.

Standards on The Great British Bake Off (C4) have been sky-high throughout. As we reached the quarter finals, that was beginning to make things awkward

The Great British Bake Off’s (C4) standards have always been high. It was getting awkward as we got to the quarterfinals.

There were only two minor stumbles from the bakers. They look almost like final-day certs.

Giuseppe earned a scolding from an ‘underwhelmed’ Paul Hollywood when his gluten-free showstopper was a bit claggy. ‘I expected better from you,’ growled the judge.

Jurgen struggled with the technical round. He took his homemade sausage rolls from the oven and poured them onto the ground. ‘This is bad ?. . . you didn’t see it,’ he murmured.

Even after a nosedive onto the lino, Jurgen’s puff pastry didn’t land in last place. Crystelle suffered the same humiliation for her crime of grating too much chilli in her chutney.

The tension goes away when the bakers can do so well.

Bake Offs where there is a chance for disaster to strike are some of the most memorable.

Lizzie Acker (pictured) from this year's Great British Bake Off. Judge Prue Leith was complaining about the sloppy presentation of Liverpudlian Lizzie¿s icing. ¿I want to strangle Lizzie,¿ she tutted. ¿She¿s almost determined not to be neat'

Lizzie Acker (pictured). Judge Prue Leith was complaining about the sloppy presentation of Liverpudlian Lizzie’s icing. ‘I want to strangle Lizzie,’ she tutted. ‘She’s almost determined not to be neat’

I’m sure that, in 2015, even the producers didn’t know if Nadiya Hussain would reach the finish line without succumbing to self-doubt.

The entire country wanted her win, but it always ended in a draw.

Paul however has now admitted that Jurgen & Giuseppe are far too talented to just be beaten for one poor performance.

‘Ultimately, I think Giuseppe has done enough already,’ he said, shrugging off the aftertaste of his ‘gluey’ cherry-and-choc cake.

Vintage viewing is for me a way to see the potential of disaster. We don’t get that from Jurgen and co.

Presenter Noel Fielding has his own ideas about what he’d like to see. 

Judge Prue Leith was complaining about the sloppy presentation of Liverpudlian Lizzie’s icing. ‘I want to strangle Lizzie,’ she tutted.

Natasia Demetriou and Matt Berry in BBC 2's What We Do In The Shadows. Although the jokes veer from the arcane to the scatological, the pace of the show is so fast that it¿s easy to pick out the ones that make you laugh and skate over the rest

Natasia Demetriou and Matt Berry in BBC 2’s What We Do In The Shadows. Although the jokes veer from the arcane to the scatological, the pace of the show is so fast that it’s easy to pick out the ones that make you laugh and skate over the rest

‘She’s almost determined not to be neat.’

‘It’d be good TV,’ said Noel.

Noel’s kohl-eyed eyes are ideal for the most popular sitcom on TV, The Vampiric. What we do in the Shadows(BBC2).

Although the jokes veer from the arcane to the scatological, the pace of the show is so fast that it’s easy to pick out the ones that make you laugh and skate over the rest.

The camera was able to see the names of anonymous companies listed in the foyer next to the lifts during a visit to the museum of undead.

On the first floor, you’ll find something called Mitsushi Design. Ameridelta Bank can be found on the ground floor.

And in the basement, it’s the Vampiric Council. It is possible to debate which one is really evil.

The vampires discovered a ‘cloak of duplication’ that transforms the wearer into the doppelganger of another vampire.

That’s a send-up of J.K. Rowling’s brand of magic, and it gave Nadja (Natasia Demetriou) the chance of a hilariously filthy gag — one that would make Harry Potter blush to the tips of his spectacles.

And no, I can’t repeat it here.