Extraordinary Extensions
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Britain’s Scenic Railways
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Never mind the surveyor’s report or the agent’s flimflam. All you need to know when you’re moving into a new place is whether it is haunted.
Estate agents are legally required to inform you about any previous occupant who was stabbed in the kitchen, spontaneously set on fire in front of the TV or simply vanished shortly before the patio was laid.
But builder Rod wasn’t exactly reassuring when he showed his future wife Clarice around the house he planned to renovate for them in the Cotswolds — featured in Extraordinary Extensions(C4)
The three terraced cottages, which were built for 17th century laborers and their families, have been vacant for a decade.
Extraordinary Extensions (C4) is presenter Tinie Tempah’s first property show and he’s making a confident job of it
‘It’s a bit creepy and you can kind of imagine a murder might have happened there,’ Rod told her, ‘but try to see past that.’
Clarice wouldn’t be convinced, though, until she’d brought her dogs to sniff round the property. If they started shivering or whining, she warned, Rod’s dream was off. This proved to be less than foolproof. What if the cottages were haunted and possessed by dog-loving spooks.
But Rod and Clarice had bigger problems to worry about, such as the local planning committee’s stipulation that their L-shaped extension had to be 16ft high to match the existing roofline: the bedroom ended up like a country chapel.
The couple tried painting the upper walls dark green to disguise the looming void above, I bet it doesn’t half echo if they snore.
This is presenter Tinie Tempah’s first property show and he’s making a confident job of it. The rapper is an avid amateur architect. It is not uncommon for people to be so enthusiastic.
Pari, a banker wife of Humza, a NHS surgeon, was embarrassed when he raved about the improvements to their semi in Essex, 1930s. Humza said he was ‘too generous’ with his praise.
‘I’m not, man,’ urged Tinie. ‘Take it and internalise it.’
I’m not sure whether you need planning permission or therapy for ‘internalising’. It sounds terrible either way.
Perhaps the star, who’s had more No 1 singles than any other British rap artist, has internalised too much praise himself: the credits bill him as plain ‘Tinie’.
You can let your ego go, old man. You’re not Madonna!
You can see a remarkable renovation job in action. Britain’s Scenic Railways (More4) stopped at the Forth Bridge, where the work never stops.
A lighthouse on Inchgarvie Island, under the bridge, is so dilapidated that workmen can’t even stand on its rusting balcony.
But the most daunting repairs are taking place high above, where engineers abseil from the girders.
Britain’s Scenic Railways followed trainee driver Tom Rotherham at Lakeside and Haverthwaite Railway
‘Obviously,’ said one maintenance man, ‘if you’ve got vertigo, this might not be your gig.’
He had at least a safety harness. Old newsreel showed workers in the 1930s astride the swooping stanchions with no more protective gear than a cloth cap.
‘Hope I don’t slip!’ shouted one.
We had stunning vistas as well, and they had spectacular views. All segments were chosen for their stunning backdrops.
A fireman called Tom on the footplate of a steam loco at the Lakeside & Haverthwaite Railway in Cumbria was preparing to take his driver’s assessment.
It must have been difficult to keep your eyes focused on the track as the test route winds through the hills around Windermere. And a helicopter took a longdistance look, using an ultrazoom lens, into an osprey’s nest perched on top of a Scottish electricity pylon.
‘You’re going to get a cracking view,’ one engineer promised us at the start of the programme — he wasn’t wrong about that.