Six months into a marriage, a counselor shared 12 basic facts that couples need to know.
Portland-based Therapist Jeff Guenther, LPC, posted a TikTok video that highlighted the key questions to ask your partner before you commit.
According to him, it is important to know how your partner views success as well as how their families have influenced their growth.
Portland-based Therapist Jeff Guenther, LPC posted a TikTok video that highlighted the key questions he believes are crucial to address with his partner before making a commitment to him.
You may also want to ask your partner what they do when you are feeling sad or stressed, as well as what motivates and inspires them.
More than 1.3 Million people liked the video on social media.
Some joked that they didn’t know the answers to these questions, not even their partner.
Jeff tried to reassure his viewers at the start of the video, saying: ‘If you don’t know these things, don’t freak out, just ask each other. These are essential basics you need to continue building your relationship.
“If your partner and you can correctly answer 9 out 12 questions, then you are doing well.”
He also mentioned that your partner should be able answer the questions you have about them.
One of the easiest questions of the twelve is asking your partner what makes them ‘laugh’ and ‘cry’.
The next question is about what you love most in your partner. A third asks about what they’re passionate about. And another one asks why they have trouble sleeping at night.
Jeff, in the video, said that knowing your partner’s success criteria and their relationship with their families is a key foundation for building on.
Others were personal questions, like how their families affect their growth and whether or not they have a spirituality. If so, what effect does this have on their decision-making.
Jeff stated that the list was not complete and encouraged viewers to submit questions about their partners early.
However, many of those who followed the therapist joked that they don’t know all the answers when it comes down to them.
Other people said they were more difficult than expected, and that the questions weren’t ‘basic’.
“This was what made me panic… “This made me freak out… That’s why I’m single,” one person asked.
Jeff was not the only one who thought these questions were complex. Others said that they didn’t know enough to prevent them from having a happy marriage.
It’s hard to find simple questions like, “What’s the favorite color?”One said,
“He called them basics,” one laughed.
What if your husband is adamant that he doesn’t believe you can do anything? He’s been with me for seven years. He is silly and makes me laugh. One said, “That’s all I have.”
One person joked that he thought it was going be something like “How many siblings are they having?”
One wrote, “I struggle to even recognize this about myself,”
“I have been married to my partner for over 3.5 years, and I can’t decide what she would like for dinner. Can you please help me?” another replied.
Some laughed that they couldn’t answer these questions for themselves. One said they believe the question should be something along the lines ‘how many sibling do thry have?’