A father who kicked his daughter pregnant for lying to him about her relationship with an ex-boyfriend has been called ‘controlling, heartless’.
The man, believed to be from the US , took to Reddit thread, ‘Am I The A**hole’, where he asked Redditors to tell him if he’s in the wrong for giving his daughter an ultimatum: choose to keep her baby and not live in his house, or give her child up for adoption.
The boyfriend was described as a “scumbag” by him and he told his daughter to either leave him or her father’s home.
The post was written by him: “My child recently informed me and my spouse that she is pregnant. She’s apparently been concealing it for the past three months.”
“The boyfriend was a scumbag whom I believed she had left after I told her she could either leave him or my home. Which she chose, at least that is what I assumed.
“She began to sob and tell us how sorry and what a huge mistake it had been. She was told that she could not stay at our home if the baby is given up for adoption. We won’t let it ruin her life.
An anonymous has taken to Reddit thread, ‘Am I The A**hole’, asking Redditors to tell him if he is in the wrong for giving his daughter an ultimatum to choose to keep her baby and not live in his house, or give it up for adoption
Reddit user u/Throwaway587210 asked Reddit users what their thoughts were on his complicated situation home with his adult child and boyfriend.
“She kept insisting to us that it would be taken care of, but after discovering she had been lying for several months to me and sneaking behind my back to meet her boyfriend, I found myself very skeptical.
“My daughter was unable to have her baby. That’s when I kicked her out of my house. Now she lives with a good friend.
“My wife was incredibly upset and now tells me why I made the wrong decision. Although it was not an easy decision, I could not allow my wife to leave without any consequences.
“At her age, I had already taken care of myself. I do not see it in the same light as others. After she lies to me, is it wrong to expel my adult daughter from my home? Let me know if you think I have gone too far.
The majority of commenters agreed that it was wrong for him to do such a thing to his daughter.
Someone said, “You know that forbidding your girl from seeing her boyfriend will just make him more attractive right?”
“And she was pregnant and in dire need of love, stability, and security. How is that going to help her?” It’s not good parenting, I would agree.
One of his coworkers agreed and said: “It’s funny that he didn’t want her having the baby, because he won’t let ruin her lives, except that he did by throwing her out.
Many people agreed with the conclusion of this thread that the father gave his daughter an ultimatum. Instead, he should reconsider his position regardless of his feelings.
“Don’t think that raising a child at the age of 19 is enough. Are you the kind of person that can get her up when she falls? You are her daughter, for God’s sake.. show compassion.
Redditors were open to sharing their experiences with shock-pregnancy and the reactions of their parents.
One said: ‘I had my daughter right before my 19th birthday & guess what? This changed my whole life. A grown woman, she is.
‘You can’t dictate who she spends times with & you certainly can’t dictate what she does with her body.
“She is scared, and she needs help. She lost her parents, who were supposed to be her support network. Your parents sound just like mine, which makes me feel so sorry for your little girl.
She also mentioned that her parents made the same decision because they did not like her boyfriend.
“And I fled. What happened after I discovered I was pregnant? She recalled that she was in an abusive relationship with my parents and they didn’t even know. All they knew was that I was asking for a return to home.
“And they allowed me. Because they didn’t want me to face it alone.
‘You may think you’re helping your daughter, but you’re only hurting her so much more. It is my sincere hope that you will read the comments, call your daughter and apologize and allow her to come home.
Her safe haven is you and her mother. Right now she is young, she is scared, and you don’t know if this man is abusive or not.’
Lizardl0unge recalled that the father stated, “At her age, I was already taking good care of myself, so I don’t think it the same as others.” Lizardl0unge responded, “And look at how beautiful he turned out!”
Then they said, “No empathy nor understanding whatsoever.” He was surprised that his daughter preferred to keep it all from him.
She’s not able confide in him about everything and can confidently pick a course, but she is being forced to choose.
Some Redditors argued that he did right and his daughter should’step up,’ if they want to become mothers.
“I hope that his daughter will come out of this with a positive outlook and be able to depend on him for the future. He’ll hold everything he does for his grandchild and her over his head.
There were however a few voices that supported the idea, such as one who stated: We are going against the grain, to say that everybody sucks (except for your wife).
“Yeah, you should not have kicked her out. That will only permanently end your relationship with her.
“However, getting pregnant and concealing it isn’t the right action for someone mature enough to admit her mistakes.
I think it would be more productive to have sat down with her to discuss her ideas and to get her permission to make her decisions if she wants to keep it.
“Where is the money coming from?” Does she expect you or your wife to cover the cost? Does the father plan to contribute? It is important to be clear about your intentions.
One other person agreed with the less-popular point of view. It is now reality, and she has had to face it.