After questioning her husband about how much time he spends with their son, a mother split her opinion.
The anonymous woman posted to the British parenting forum, Mumsnet, to share her worries, claiming that her partner and his child, 10, from a previous relationship are ‘glued to each other’s side’.
She said she didn’t mean to offend him and suggested he spend more time with their new baby.
She also takes care of all night meals and childcare.
Commenters discovered that they had been together for ‘just over a year.’ They were divided over the importance of the father’s parenting priorities or his neglect.
After feeling that her step-daughter preferred their baby to her, an anonymous woman contacted Mumsnet.
He would always sleep on the same mattress as his father, and she wondered why the boy hadn’t made a bond with her.
When asked about her domestic life, she said: “This is so difficult to write. But I feel like my partner prefers our 10-year old son to our baby.”
‘My partner and his son have a close bond which I completely understand he’s his first born and I try so hard to be ok with it . But since we had our baby four months ago I feel like he hasn’t really bonded with our baby and he would pick his son any day of the week over our baby.
“I’m the one who does all the baby’s night feeds. I also do most of the caring for our baby during the week.
‘My stepson stays every weekend and he sleeps in bed with his dad every weekend and I just feel like our baby gets none of her dads attention when he’s here.
Some commented that it was the right of the father to ensure his oldest child is comfortable with sudden changes.
‘He’s very clingy to his dad and since we’ve had our baby together I just feel like my partner is barely interested.’
Although she initially was concerned that her stepson would jealously be given too much attention to the baby, it has been the exact opposite.
‘I know my partner loves our baby but it’s like in a different league to his son. I wouldn’t even mind as much I think if they didn’t share a bed.’
Some people commented on how difficult it was for the boy to make so many adjustments. Others thought that the father was just looking out for his welfare.
Others felt he was not fulfilling his fatherly duties to his child, and urged him to be equally generous with his time.
A person stated, “Given that you have only been together for a little over a year it is quite upsetting for the boy.” He may be feeling anxious or insecure due to the fact that he’s now living with a half sister and a stepmother.
Another person agreed, saying: ‘His child(ren) will always be his priority, as I’m assuming yours are too. It seems that his oldest child requires him at the moment, because it is an enormous adjustment and takes a lot of time.
“You’ll read all about the feckless dads that walk off with their kids without looking back. It’s a shame.
Another thought it would be unreasonable to expect the same amount of attention for a four-month-old baby, saying: ‘He sounds like a good dad, he is taking his son’s feelings into account after creating family no 2, increasing his contact time and being sympathetic to his son’s feelings. A four-month-old will barely know her dad exists let alone if she’s getting less attention than her brother.’
However, others felt the father had unfairly expected his partner to take over all of the duties for the baby.
One man said that he was making his son feel just as loved and that he shouldn’t take over all of the child’s care.
The second commenter also agreed with the statement: “He shouldn’t share a bedroom with his child… It’s strange that some people are allowing this to happen. His mother said that he sleeps well at home, and this is despite the fact that he has never been to bed alone.
“I think it is nice that he makes an effort to make sure his stepson feels part of the family, but it should also be something you do together as a family so all kids are involved. This is not a big effort by a single child’s husband.
One commenter added: “I believe there are two issues. He doesn’t want his child to feel excluded. That’s a good thing. It’s unfavorable that he does not do night feeds, and it is hardly an excuse to him for doing so.
“There are no excuses for not having one-on-1 time with your child.”