Two-year-old mother has spoken out about how her husband got grumpy with her when she let herself go after giving birth to their child.
The woman, believed to be from the UK, who works part-time and also looks after their child, took to Mumsnet where she explained she’d had a ‘big row’ with her husband after he’d been ‘grumpy’ one afternoon.
He said that when she inquired about his problems, he blurted out that it was not clear what was going on with her. She then added, “Massively let myself go” and she doesn’t look like the wife he had married.”
While the woman admitted she knows ‘he’s right,’ hundreds of social media users took to the comments section to slam his behaviour, with one writing: ‘Tell him you don’t exist in this world for his visual pleasure and you’ll do whatever the f*** you want to do with your own goddam body?’
A woman (not pictured) has revealed how her husband (not pictured) became grumpy after she gained weight and stopped going to the hairdresser as often after becoming a mother
Two-year-old daughter of the poster said that she worked three days per week and looked after her child.
The woman wrote: “I have gained weight. I used to be a 10 or so and am now a 14.”
“My hair is now brushed and cleaned, but I go to the salon only once every two months for split ends. When we met I’d have balayage and styled my hair regularly.
“I don’t wear makeup anymore, but I did use to put on tinted moisturizer, blush and eyebrow gels.
‘I do dress okay when I’m out and about but tonight I was wearing my big dressing gown and PJs (not very attractive I know).’
Numerous commentators thought the husband who made cruel remarks about his wife’s appearance was outlandish.
She continued to mention how comments “hurt” her and that she wasn’t sure what to do.
Many people were sympathetic towards the situation of the woman. Some said that the husband was not allowed to critique her physical appearance and that she should be the one to judge her.
‘Tell him you don’t exist in this world for his visual pleasure and you’ll do whatever the f*** you want to do with your own goddam body?’ wrote one, while a second penned: ‘What a superficial t***. You should tell him to set his priorities.
A third added: ‘Never mind let yourself go…you need to let him go, the k***. You are so ridiculous to think that you don’t want full makeup.
A lot of people who replied to the posting said that physical attraction was very important in their relationship. They may be less attracted to partners who have gained weight.
Others however admitted that their physical attraction to their spouse would decrease if they were more attractive physically.
One wrote: ‘Since a key part of attraction is what people look like it’s not unreasonable to have feelings if how your spouse looks changes a lot. Even if there’s a good reason for it.
‘I adore my husband but if he put on 10 stone I wouldn’t be attracted to him. I wouldn’t have married him if he’d been 10 stone heavier so why would I want that now?’
Another comment: “He could have said that more politely.” However, to be honest with you, my husband might have gained some weight and been slobbing about in his pajamas, so I wouldn’t hesitate to say something.
Another commentator commented: “He wasn’t kind about that, but it is common for women to say they find their partners unattractive after weight gain. And they are often agreed with.
“Hope that you speak to him.”
Many people felt that the problem was down to the fact that mothers are more likely to be home with their children than their fathers. Women tend to take care of the majority of the domestic tasks.
The issue was for many people a result of the sometimes unfair division between women and men when it came to housework, childcare and exercise.
One writer said: ‘Is this one of those situations where the woman holds down a job as well as doing the majority of the housework and childcare, while the man prioritises his health and appearance, then the man complains that his wife doesn’t look exactly like she did when they got married?’
A second added that he could be so worried that he has to do more at home. This will give you time to care for your personal needs, such as beauty/exercise or any other needs.
One suggested that you tell him your feelings about his comments.
Ask him to help you with your hair while you go.
“Ask your husband to take care of your child more during the mornings, so you have time for your makeup. Only if it is something you really want.