The pandemic’s left so many of us stressed and worn out. Today Paul McKenna, a prominent Mail Series contributor, launches a plan that will help you reset your emotions in three steps.
In the wake of the pandemics, it has become difficult to feel certain. Much of the year was filled with turbulence, stress and worry; the world doesn’t feel as rock-solid as it once did.
But that doesn’t mean we should tiptoe into 2022 afraid the ground might crack beneath us. Of course things will go wrong. But there’s every chance plenty will go right, too.
New Year’s Day is traditionally when we look forward, full of hope.
We hang a new calendar on the kitchen door, its empty pages waiting to be filled with the various life-affirming events — birthdays, anniversaries and holidays — that punctuate the year with positivity.
Paul McKenna has launched a Mail Series with three steps to help you reset your emotions.
The resolutions we make are those that will allow us to prosper and grow in the next year. Out of an entire year, it is the day we most feel as if we’re on the brink of discovering our very best selves.
We need to feel positive this new year more than ever before, as they will be what 2022 needs to get a jump start.
Of course, with things as difficult as they are now, you may well be asking yourself: ‘Why bother?’ But we have to step out of that negative mindset because it’s only going to hold us back.
Yes, it is true that I feel the pessimism and collective fear of so many right now. If 2020 is the year that brought us fear, 2021 will be remembered for being a year filled with aching sadness.
All the postponed weddings were rescheduled, sometimes having to be again delayed.
The holidays we didn’t dare take; the family get-togethers that it suddenly felt unsafe to go ahead with. It’s hard not to feel worn down by it all.
I’ve certainly been affected by a dull dampening of the senses as a result of so much uncertainty: bouts of weariness that can’t be cured by an early night; feeling flat or experiencing moments of sadness that seem to come from nowhere and can’t be put down to any one thing.
According to the Office for National Statistics, depression levels have almost doubled since the outbreak.
I’d be surprised if you haven’t felt similarly unsettled over the past 12 months.
Friends — often high achievers — tell me they feel demotivated and lack focus; that their stress levels are through the roof.
Many people complain about the overwhelming feeling of completing even simple tasks.
These feelings are normal, even though they can seem difficult. These feelings are the results of living with an almost constant sense of danger for nearly two years.
I’m not remotely surprised we’ve lost our collective mojo.
The latest NHS data shows that more than 7.87 million people in England were prescribed antidepressant drugs in 2020-21 — that’s one in seven of us.
The Office for National Statistics reported that depression rates have more than doubled in the wake of the pandemic. 21 percent of the population over 16 has been affected, compared to 10 percent before the lockdown.
What started out as a pandemic of health has turned into a mental one. But please don’t think that any of this means we’ve been rendered impotent in the face of so much stress and anxiety.
With confidence, it is possible to continue forward in 2022.
Beginning today and going on through next week, you will be introduced to new thinking methods that can help protect against negative thoughts and reset emotions.
The plan comes from Positivity: Confidence. Resilience. Motivation.
My techniques can help you stay calm when under pressure. They will also give you a sense of optimism that will make your emotions more positive. Soon, your default emotional setting will change to one of motivation, resilience, and confidence.
Think of your brain like a computer. Your mind is an amazing machine that runs its own software. This helps to organise your consciousness thoughts and help you make decisions.
Now, you must recognise that the power to re-programme that computer hasn’t been outsourced to Covid — it lies within you. You can change the programming that encourages positive thinking, regardless of how demotivated or stressed you feel right now.
In the coming days I will be sharing simple techniques and tricks that can help you transform negative thoughts into positive thinking and action.
In a three-step process, I will give you all the tools necessary to accomplish that. The first step is to reduce stress and anxiety, which can cause you to feel like your life is out of control.
My goal is to help you find and relax the calm inner voice that soothes your worries.
The second step is to work on confidence- and resilience-building techniques. Resilience means far more than simply being able to tough it out when life’s challenges arise.
The majority of resolutions get abandoned before the end of the third week in January, writes PAUL McKENNA
It is about being flexible, creative and resourceful. Step three, the final piece of the puzzle, in my plan is to help you switch on your motivation and determine the direction that you would like to take in your life. You can move forward in 2022 by digging down and identifying what is most important to you.
New Year is the perfect time to make resolutions. Goals are usually set for us, which often include eating less, exercising more, and drinking less.
The problem is, we go from nought to 100 on day one — hammering it in the gym and restricting ourselves in ways that are simply unsustainable.
Did you know that most new year’s resolutions are abandoned by the third week of January? This time, I’d like you to try doing things differently. Instead of making a long list, try to focus your efforts on just one goal: Feeling better. Better about yourself, your life, your future.
That’s something I can help you with, starting with the exercises here and overleaf. Take a second to visualize a different version of yourself before you start.
- Which would you be in your position?
- Your voice sounds like?
- How many things could you possibly be saying to your self?
These scenarios are likely to make you feel more confident now than when you first imagined them.
Close your eyes and float to a bright future
1)Assume you can see yourself a full year ahead and having one of the most memorable years in your life. These questions are a great way to get started:
- How is your mental health?
- Which are your professional and personal relationships?
- What’s your career like?
- What are your financial situation?
- What makes you happy?
- How did you achieve your dreams?
2)Create a scene to represent all you want for your future.
This can either be symbolic or realistic. Some people see a picture of themselves in a particular setting, looking a certain way — other people go for something more symbolic, like picturing clinking champagne glasses, or a certificate of achievement on the wall.
3) As you create that image one year from now, make sure it is big, bright, bold and colourful, the size of a cinema screen. You’ll know you’re doing it right because it feels good just to imagine it.
You are likely feeling more confident now than you did a few years ago if you have just imagined these scenarios.
4)Imagine that you are looking back at three months of your picture. Ask yourself what happened three months prior to your big goal. Then, make sure to take a picture to represent it.
5)Next, you can float forward another three months and then ask what happened six months before that.
6)Now, go back to the beginning of your current picture. Next ask yourself what happened three months earlier. While you are doing this, create a new picture in your head that represents the point.
7)Again, take a trip back in time three months to your last photo and get to the present. Ask yourself, “What is the next step?”
8)Now, look back and see the sequence of images below that will show you how your life is going over the next 12 months.
9) You should have several pictures that connect the past with your future. You should see the images grow in size with greater and more amazing things occurring within them. Let your unconscious eye see these pictures, and it will help you to map out the path that leads to success for the year ahead.
10)You can now float upwards and outwards into every picture and move forwards through the year. It will take you a while to truly experience each step that you are taking to achieve greater success.
11)Once you have a clear picture, take the time to fully enjoy it. How would it feel to possess everything?
12)Next, return to the present. Take a look at the future. Feel confident in the knowledge that you’ve created a map for your unconscious mind to use as a guide in bringing about the future you want.
Healing touch that calms the mind
A peaceful mind will be more open to positive thoughts. Stress really is negativity’s very best friend.
So the first exercise I’m going to teach you is one of the most effective ways I know for instantly reducing stress and anxiety.
It’s a technique called Havening — the new kid on the block when it comes to psychosensory therapies, it uses simple touch to soothe body and mind. I have used this throughout the pandemic to help frontline workers — doctors, nurses, paramedics and ambulance crew — deal with stress.
The idea was created by Ronald Ruden (an expert in neurology), who found that repeated touches to specific parts of our bodies, along with certain eye movements, visualisations and eye movements, can have an immediate, reliable, and predictable impact on our feelings.
Havening is proven to lower stress levels and improve brain function.
Havening simulates the comfort your mother gave you when you were a baby. She held you close in her arms. All infants are wired to feel the comfort of being held.
It isn’t just a way to distract. Havening is a proven method to lower stress and improve brain processing.
This sequence will reset how your brain responds to stress. It can change the neural pathways of your brain over time. Until you are comfortable with these movements and body touch, practice them. These visualisations can be used whenever you want to improve your mental health.
Begin by paying attention to your discomfort and rating it from 1-10. Ten is the strongest. Next, follow these steps.
1)Take a look at any stressor or trauma memory that you would like to get rid of and note how it seems in your imagination. You can now rate the strength of your stress on a scale from one to ten. Ten is the strongest.
2)Get out of your head and think positive thoughts.
3)Place your hands on your shoulders, cross your arms and then close your eyes.
4)Continue to stroke your arms downwards by moving your fingers from the shoulders down towards your elbows.
5)You can imagine yourself on the beach walking, stroking your arms as you go. Keep counting from one to twenty for each step you take in the sand.
6)Keep your head straight while you continue to stroke your arms. Next, rotate your eyes ten times to the left and right.
7) While you continue to stroke your arms and legs, picture yourself walking through a garden. Each step that you take in the grass will be counted loudly, from one to twenty.
8) Check your emotions again against the scale. If it is way down at the bottom of the scale, congratulations — you have personally changed your feelings. You can continue the Havening procedure until the stress sensation is diminished to the extent you desire.
This method can be used whenever you want to eliminate unhappiness.