If you answered mostly “A”, you might be an independent.
Dr Carmen says that the Independent’s difficulty in committing is due to his detached and individualistic nature. The Independent archetype is the most reluctant of the seven because he fears that a partner will compromise his freedom. Independent is defined primarily by his need to be independent. This applies not only to his love life but also to other aspects of his life. The Independent doesn’t follow the lead of others; he creates his own path.
Independent needs a partner that can give him his time and space to do what he enjoys. He doesn’t want his partner to beg for him or to explain why they should spend more together. He wants his partner to be busy and take care of his or her needs. Be patient when you commit to the Independent. He’s used to doing things one way so being too strong will backfire. It is better to let things flow from him than to try and force them. Communication with the Independent, because this archetype is a communicator and means what he says.
If you answered mostly Bs, then you might be a Workaholic.
The Workaholic has built his entire life around his work. In fact, he chose his career before he chose his partner. But he still wants the best of both worlds—the successful job and the perfect partner— and he isn’t willing to compromise. The Workaholic cannot be with a controlling, possessive partner who hinders him from achieving his mission. His partner must support his career and his responsibilities. He views the partner who is constantly on top of his life as a liability and not an asset. The Workaholic will fire any employee who isn’t contributing to his growth the same way he would fire a partner who isn’t contributing to his growth.
To make a Workaholic commit, he or she must embrace his career fully. Although he may work long hours and have a busy schedule, once he or she is attached to his partner, they will be an integral part of the Workaholic’s life. He appreciates the little things that he can do to help him. The Workaholic is more rational than romantic but still needs an outlet to let go of emotions that are bottled up by his job. It is important to encourage him to talk, relax and engage in activities that release stress.
If you answered a lot of Cs, you might have a Narcissist.
The Narcissist has crossed the line from empowerment to entitlement. He is too proud and too arrogant. His selfish inclinations and high ego make it difficult for him to bond with others. This can make him appear emotionally shallow and lead to serious relationship problems. Because he is so focused on himself, the Narcissist may struggle to pay enough attention or give his partner what they need. If these tendencies are reduced, the Narcissist may be able to commit to a relationship.
It is vital to the relationship for a Narcissist to believe he is right, but only to a certain extent. If a Narcissist’s complacency becomes a problem for his partner or is preventing him from doing his best, it’s time for him to confront the issue. Narcissists can become defensive as confrontation forces him to step down from his comfortable throne. Partner who chooses a Narcissist as a partner cannot be weak. To maintain a relationship with him, he or she will need to be as tough and determined as the Narcissist. Please note that being a Narcissist does not necessarily mean you have Narcissistic Personality Disorder, or NPD.
If you answered mostly Ds you might be a Free Spirit
This archetype is not clear in everything he does, from relationships to work to hobbies to his personal life. This man may say that he wants a relationship, but then abandons the ship when things get more serious. This kind of irrational behaviour can leave his partner puzzled and blaming himself or herself when in truth, the Free Spirit struggles with the idea of commitment. The Free Spirit isn’t sure what he wants. Although he may have an idea, the Free Spirit is unable to execute when it comes to thinking. His partner must first help him find his true self and then act on it.
The Free Spirit must learn to manage his conflictual tendencies. He should also learn to let his emotions flow without dictating what he does. His partner can help him set small goals and encourage him to choose one path and stick with it. The Free Spirit should be reminded how rewarding it can be to stick to a goal and see it through. The more he can stick to one job or project, the more likely he will be to stay with that relationship.
If you answered mostly Es, then you might be a Hopeless Romantic.
The Hopeless Romantic, an idealist of epic proportions, is a hopeless romantic. Although he believes in love, he is not a good at navigating relationships. The Hopeless Romantic is a dreamer but not a doer. However, he longs for love and doesn’t know how best to approach a relationship. He is easily in love and will often fall for unsuitable partners. In reality, he may be more infatuated with the idea and person than the one he is actually in love with. He is unrealistic about the difficulties that relationships can bring because he believes in love.
The Hopeless Romantic has good intentions. He just wants to give and get love. He was ready to commit even before he met his current partner. This archetype is not likely to cheat, as he tends only to be infatuated one person. The Hopeless Romantic is open and honest. He wears his heart on the sleeve. The Hopeless Romantic must be grounded in reality and have reasonable expectations to maintain a lasting relationship. The Hopeless Romantic will be able to have the long-lasting love of his dreams if he can understand that a slow-paced, well-founded relationship is the key to lasting love.
If you answered mostly Fs you might be a Wounded Warrior.
The Wounded Warrior has been wounded, possibly early in his life. His smile doesn’t reflect the turmoil he feels inside. The Wounded Warrior deals with demons that he refuses to address and wilfully suppresses. He tries to hide his trauma and fails often until it boils to the surface. The Wounded Warrior must first gently heal and explore his pain before he can commit.
The Wounded Warrior must be able to reconcile his inner and outer worlds by gently unravelling his pain and then converting it into strength. He must also reconcile his past to be able to bridge the two sides of his soul. The Wounded Warrior needs compassion from his partner. His insecurities can drive his partner crazy, but his healing is the key to their relationship.
If you answered mostly Gs, then you might be an introvert.
The Introvert’s greatest struggle is his fear of intimacy, and his hesitation to let go of what he feels. His problem is his inability to communicate, which can be misinterpreted as secrecy by his partner. The Introvert’s unique problem is the inconsistency between what’s visible and what’s kept within. An Introvert must feel comfortable enough to share his feelings with his partner to be in a committed marriage.
If he or she can break through his mental and emotional boundaries, the Introvert can be deeply attached to his or her partner. The Introvert needs to feel at ease with another person and to be able to share thoughts and ideas. The Introvert won’t be disappointed in his partner if he feels that way. This archetype is highly creative and enjoys having their creativity tested. An Introvert can absorb every detail in his environment, and see things that others miss. The Introvert will give his all to the partner who inspires and encourages him to let go of his guard.
If you answered mostly with Hs, you might be a Well Rounded One.
The Well-Rounded One is ready for a real relationship. He can offer support and commitment without having to deal with the emotional or mental challenges of other archetypes. The Well-Rounded One is able to do his introspective work. He is now able to love freely and without any obstacles. He will work hard to solve his problems in relationships, but he will not sacrifice his well-being for any partner. Being well-rounded is being flexible and able to adapt to new situations and challenges. His versatility under different circumstances is his number one quality. He is decent in all ways and doesn’t have to deal with psychological complexities.
The Well-Rounded One believes that life is best when it’s balanced. He values order and composure more than anything else. His mind is at ease when there is a mission and a sense purpose.