Now we know what was really bothering Boris Johnson when he spoke of the ticking clock standing at ‘one minute to midnight’.

He was worried about missing Last Orders from the Garrick Club. 

Presumably, that’s why he took a private plane back to London from the Cop26 summit in Glasgow on Tuesday night to join fellow Tories and compadres from Her Majesty’s Daily Telegraph for a convivial gentlemen’s dinner.

If he’d let the train take the strain, Boris wouldn’t have arrived at Euston Station until 11.30pm.

Given the permanent gridlock in Central London these days, even with a police escort he’d almost certainly never have made it to the Covent Garden club in time for a nightcap.

Late night revellers and theatre-goers heading for the Tube could have been treated to the sight of our dishevelled Prime Minister clambering out of the back of his official limo and running up the steps shouting: ‘Large gin and tonic, Giovanni’ before the shutters came down in the cocktail bar.

Boris chartered an executive plane and landed at Stansted airport around 7.16pm. Two Range Rovers, which can consume a lot of gas, waited on the Tarmac for Boris to take him to Garrick. They were blazing Blues and Twos. 

Both SUVs had been parked outside the club when the Daily Mirror found him at 8.45pm.

Boris has spent the week warning about climate change apocalypse (pictured at COP26 climate conference). In pursuit of his insane Net Zero vanity project, he proposes to make us colder and poorer, change our diets and cut back on travel, especially foreign holidays. Yet Boris chartered an executive jet back from Glasgow and landed at Stansted airport at 7.16pm.

Boris spent the week warning of climate change apocalypse (pictured during COP26 climate conference). His insane Net Zero vanity project has him proposing to make us colder, poorer, change how we eat, and cut down on travel, particularly foreign holidays. Yet Boris chartered an executive jet back from Glasgow and landed at Stansted airport at 7.16pm.

Boris had arrived comfortably in time for his tea, which we can safely assume wasn’t ‘plant-based’. Red-blooded Tories don’t do vegan.

My guess is red meat and red wines were involved, followed closely by the finest full fat cheeses.

I wonder what Boris’s dining companions make of Rishi Sunak, an allegedly Conservative Chancellor, whacking up duty on vintage clarets and plotting to tax the roast beef of Olde England?

That’s more than sufficient grounds to get Dishi blackballed by the Garrick, should he ever care to apply for membership.

I am open to Chateaubriand being sipped with Chateauneuf de Pape by a few like-minded guys.

I don’t even care if Boris takes a private plane back from an international summit.

It’s the stinking hypocrisy that sticks in my craw, the ‘Do as I say, not as I do’ arrogance of all this.

I couldn’t give a monkey’s about the double-standards of Joe Biden, Jeff Bezos, or any other of the preening global junketeers who turned up in Glasgow this week.

But I am extremely concerned about the behaviour of our Prime Minister and his Cabinet, who increasingly behave as if the rules they impose upon on the rest of us don’t apply to them.

Boris has spent the past week warning of climate change’s impending doom. Boris is pursuing his insane Net Zero vanity project. He proposes to make us poorer and colder, change our diets, and reduce travel, especially abroad.

After ranting about how vehicle emissions are destroying the planet, does he really believe that taking a private plane and a thirsty Range Rover to a jolly-up at a London club is a proper manner to behave?

What kinda example does that set? What if catching the train from Glasgow meant missing Lord Snooty’s dinner?

Sadly, this pattern of behaviour has become the norm among our ruling elite, ever since Boris’s ex-sidekick Dominic Cummings flouted the Covid lockdown by driving to Durham.

Ministers were exempted by the travel ban as well as the need to self isolate. On the pretext of combating global warming, the Tories’ Cop26 champion Alok Sharma flew to no fewer than 30 countries, never once quarantining on his return to Britain.

After banging on about aviation and vehicle emissions destroying the planet, does Boris really think taking a private plane and a thirsty Range Rover to a jolly-up at an exclusive London club is a proper way to behave?

Boris, after all the talk about vehicle emissions and aviation destroying the planet, really believes that taking a private plane and a thirsty Range Rover to a jolly-up at a London club is a proper manner to behave?

Next month, it’ll be two years since we gave Boris a thumping 80-seat majority. It should have been the start to a national renaissance, under a popular and self-proclaimed libertarian PM.

Although the pandemic was a significant change, it is not impossible to see how. It is not an excuse for what has occurred since then. I’ve been asking friends and family who voted Tory in 2019, some for the first time, if they can name a single one of this Government’s policies they actually support.

The majority of the people who tried came up empty except for Kate Bingham sub-contracting Kate’s vaccine program and getting Brexit done.

A so-called Tory Government lost the plot somewhere along the way. Forget the embarrassing U-turn made yesterday before Owen Paterson resigned. It smacks of a ruling party that is in complete disarray and without any moral compass.

Brexit was supposed be about us regaining control of our borders. Priti Flamingo failed to stop 20,000 migrants from crossing the Channel this year. None have been returned. 

Ministers can talk tough but do not achieve anything. It turns out that Lord Frost’s alleged hardline over the current fishing dispute has been nothing of the sort.

The hostage, a Scottish trawler, was only released when Britain agreed to grant another 95 permits for French boats. It is no wonder Macron is crowing.

These issues are merely sideshows in the grand scheme. The real concern is that the Government appears to be suffering from a political long-Covid malaise. 

They seem reluctant to let go of their pseudo-socialist craving for an authoritarian punishment culture after being locked down.

Draconian restrictions on travel and liberty have made them crave more. Conservatism is supposed be about individual responsibility, low taxes, and freedom of choice. All of these are not available right now.

Somewhere along the line, a so-called Tory Government has completely lost the plot. Forget the humiliating U-turn yesterday before Owen Paterson (pictured) resigned, which smacked of a ruling party in utter disarray, shorn of any moral compass.

A so-called Tory Government lost the plot somewhere along the way. Forget the humiliating U turn yesterday before Owen Paterson (pictured), resigned. This smacks like a ruling party in complete chaos, without any moral compass.

We’re not trusted to make our own decisions about what cars we buy, how we heat our homes, where we go on holiday, what we eat. After a certain age, we no longer have control over where we live. 

The Housing Minister said this week to a Parliamentary committee that older couples should be forced from their larger properties if their children move out in order to make room for new families.

Mrs Thatcher’s property-ownership democracy is dead. At this rate, the Chancellor will start imposing an empty bedroom tax on people with ‘too much’ living space.

The Tories have already given in climate alarmists and have poured hundreds of millions of pounds into Far Left anti-car activism like Low Traffic Neighbourhoods (destroyed cycle lanes) and Far-Left Anti-Car Activism.

Yet here’s how a Downing Street spokesman tried risibly to defend Boris’s use of a private jet. ‘It is important the Prime Minister is able to move about the country and we faced significant time restraints.’

And it’s not important for the rest of us to be able to move around the country in a vehicle of our choice?

What about time constraints, especially when journey times are increasing by doubling due to artificially created traffic jams?

This Government will always impose severe fines and higher taxes on anyone who decides to change their behavior. Boris and his ministers aim for the stick and not the plant-based alternative.

Frank Luntz-style focus groups may tell Boris that his policies are wildy popular, but that’s not the impression I get from radio phone-ins and letters and emails from Daily Mail readers, who say they’ll never vote Tory again.

Boris has had it both ways for years. But lately his cakeism has morphed into ‘let them eat cake’.

Although his blatant hypocrisy in bringing a private plane back to a conference that was intended in part to stop others flying anywhere may not be the last straw, it is yet another brick missing from his Blue Wall.

Boris might believe that his 80-seat majority is a right to act in whatever way he likes. But he can’t go on insulting our intelligence, punishing us and picking our pockets, while behaving in as cavalier fashion as he pleases. He will be punished at the ballot box with long-term consequences.

If Labour could even manage a modest show of Opposition, then the Tories are already in serious trouble. There’s probably only two years max before the next election. By then, turning up late at the Garrick Club could be the least of Boris’s problems.

It’s not yet one minute to midnight, but the clock is ticking. Let’s have your glasses, gentlemen, please. Tick, tock.