‘Telling our son his daddy was in jail is the worst thing I’ve ever had to do… it’s always women who have to clean up his mess’: Despairing Lily Becker tears into fallen tennis star husband Boris who ‘had it all and blew the lot’
How can you explain to your child that the father you love is currently in prison? It sounds as though Lilly Becker — who is still, technically, Mrs Boris Becker — could have done with an instruction manual on the subject.
As she says, her hands are in the air and she is reeling. She realized that she must tell their son the truth.
“My instinct was not to lie: My father is currently in prison. He has f***ed up’,’ admits Lilly, 45. “But, you cannot say that to 12-year-old children,” Lilly, 45 says. It’s not possible when you are the Tiger Mother who has the responsibility to guard that child.
She sought assistance in the aftermath. She asked a family friend, who happens to be a head teacher, to help her tell Amadeus that his beloved father — tennis legend Boris — had been sentenced to two years in prison over charges relating to his bankruptcy, and was at that very moment behind bars, his career and reputation in tatters.
Lily Becker sought the assistance of a close friend, who is a headteacher. She wanted to share her story with her son.
Since Amadeus did not even know that his dad had been facing a jury at Southwark Crown Court last month — accused of hiding assets to avoid paying debts — this was quite a bombshell.
“Nobody expected Boris would be imprisoned. So why would I even want to tell my child about it?” “Why would I want my child to know about the trial?” she inquires. “When it came, however, everyone was stunned, but I had to tell Amadeus.
“I called my friend who taught at a nursery. Amadeus was her friend. He was also able to understand it.
“We spoke to him in his bedroom, which is where he’s most comfortable. That was probably the hardest thing I ever did. I will never forget looking into his blue eyes — as blue as Boris’s — and watching them just go from left to right and back again. It was a shock to him. It was so hard for him to grasp it.
“The sentencing took place on Friday. He’d been to his father on Thursday. So he said, “But. . . “I just saw him.” That feeling when someone passes away, where you don’t believe they are there because it was so sudden? Like that.
I said, ‘Does your heart want to break? He quickly replied, ‘No. He said, quickly: “No.” Then I asked him: “Do you want to go it alone?” He said “Yes” and then we headed downstairs. 20 minutes later, he was down.
Lily and Boris with their son Amadeus, pictured in an old family photograph
I knew that he had been Googling. Damn Google! He can’t be stopped, but I can’t. He requires answers. He deserves answers.’
Since then, the questions have continued to come in and she has attempted to answer them. But, she insists repeatedly, ‘How do I?
You try to downplay the situation. Amadeus said his father was “naughty”, but that he wasn’t old enough to use such language. After that, I explained to him Boris wasn’t a criminal.
This is false, according to me.
“I know, but I don’t think he’s a criminal. He’s not a murderer. He hasn’t bank robbed. It was a lighthearted story, he hadn’t paid his bills. Take this as a learning opportunity, pay your bills. . .’ She crashes the table. “But you don’t have to be flippant about it, is it?”
“Amadeus” is now doing much better. He’s asking questions — what will Papa be eating? Is he able to see films?
“So, I have to just answer as best I could, but it is unfair that I’m in this situation.” This is unfair that Amadeus finds himself in such a position.
Are Lilly interested in the prison meals of her ex-husband? Well, no. ‘I don’t give two s**ts what he’s eating. Scott’s will not be serving it steamed sea bass. “It won’t be steamed sea bass from Scott’s, will it?” she asks. She is referring to Mayfair restaurant that has been a favorite of the wealthy and famous.
“But, I cannot say that to him. You know what I’m referring to. Boris is the one who did it, while I clean up. The women are always responsible for cleaning up after their husbands.
The second Mrs Becker has been interviewed before. The 45-year-old Dutch model and TV presenter is a sparky soul — ‘someone who does everything at 100 per cent,’ she admits herself.
Two years ago she was livid when her estranged husband — they separated in 2018, ‘and he hates me because I was the one who left him’ — took Amadeus on holiday with his latest girlfriend, Lilian de Carvalho Monteiro.
Becker took pictures of his new passion, applying suncream to the child.
Becker is seen at Southwark Crown Court together with Lilian De Carvalho Monteiro, his new partner
Lilly felt that this was against the rules of how new girlfriends should treat their children.
The breaking-of-the-rules we are talking about today, though, is in a different league.
Boris was found guilty of hiding £2.5 million of assets and loans, to avoid paying debts. The Insolvency Act charges brought forth four convictions.
He isn’t a British citizen so he might be expelled from the country upon his release. His fall from grace has been complete.
While he began his sentence in Category B Wandsworth Prison only a few kilometers from Lilly’s Wimbledon home in Wimbledon, he is now being transferred to Category C HMP Huntercombe. Lilly claims that she feels like she is being held by the baby in this maelstrom.
She says it’s her “final straw”. “Would you have known the extent of what I have had to deal with in these past four years? Now, I can say I have superpowers. Let’s go! Bring it on.
“But this time it’s not fair on Amadeus. After years of trying to deal with the split which left him feeling bitter, he finally understood that Mama and Papa were not together. This is what he has now.
What is her secret? She has a funny sense of humor. “I’m cleaning like a crazy person,” she said. She says, “You would be surprised at the amount of bleach that I use.” I also take it out with the Hoover. To demonstrate the catharsis of pretending your ex is beneathfoot, she jumps up to her feet.
“My poor Hoover!” Since Boris and my split, I have been through five. They all have been tough, but none of them are too heavy.’.
In the end, there is only so much you can clean up. “Does anyone know the best thing?” My best friend has been my son. Yes, we do help each other. We are helping each other. He’s an amazing kid and can see when things are getting too difficult for him.
He says that I tend to get mad and that when I do, he tells me: Mama, you don’t have to become Godzilla. Mama, you are in need of a hug. He shouldn’t be in this position. You need to be my mother!”
Lilly did not attend Becker’s trial and Judge Deborah Taylor’s evisceration of the father of her child was what she saw. Judge Taylor said to him, ‘You haven’t shown remorse or acceptance of your guilt. You have tried to distance yourself form your offense and bankruptcy. Although I understand your humiliation in the course of this proceeding, it has not been a sign of humility.
Lilly is not hesitant to sum up this information. It’s complicated, though. Lilly confesses that she loves Boris Becker, but it’s not easy to do.
‘I had the best years with him — the best. He also gave me my son so that I can still love him. However, hate and love can be likened. Her fingers become tangled.
According to reports, Becker’s extended family has rallied around him since he was released.
Boris was married to Barbara Feltus of German descent, 55. With Barbara, he had two children, Noah (28 years) and Elias (22).
In 2009, he married Lilly and Amadeus was born in the same year. She says that Lilly and Barbara have been in contact for many years and they still respect each other.
What about Boris’s one-and-only daughter Anna Ermakova? She was born in London’s Nobu restaurant in 1999 after a brief encounter. This intimate relationship would define Becker just as tennis did.
Anna is 22 years old and is a model. She also seems to have a great relationship with her father.
“I sent a letter to Amadeus’ court, to express my concerns,” she said to a German newspaper.
He is just 12 years old and will have to make do with a single father figure. He will not be able to accept it. Amadeus is going to have a difficult time. What a wonderful thing that everyone is supporting each other.
Lilly snorts. Anna never knew Amadeus. They don’t have a relationship. He has contact with his brothers.
Anna said that she will visit her father while in prison. Is Lilly going to allow Amadeus the same?
She says, “I cannot answer that.” My job is to safeguard my son. All I have to do is that. That’s all.
Lilly says that Boris photographs are ‘all around our house.’ Is Amadeus a hero worshipper of his father?
No, I don’t believe in hero-worship. Boris didn’t have him around at Wimbledon. While he may have seen the video on YouTube, he isn’t interested in tennis. He does, however, love and need his dad. He is at this age.
Lilly never says Boris was a bad father — quite the opposite. He was very hands-on with his children’s first two. He babysat Amadeus, but I did the majority. That’s okay. This is how it worked. Amadeus, however, was able see his dad.
‘Now, if it’s necessary for me to travel to work, Amadeus must be with us. I used to be a single mom, but it is now all on me. His school and his parents were supportive. It’s been an amazing blessing. Amadeus was being bullied at the playground, which I was worried about. It’s not hard to see what children are like.
She is not far away from her anger.
“One day Boris will need to answer his son’s questions. He needs to see his eyes as I do. He should have all the answers. As I do, I pray he is praying.
“It was time for him to take responsibility for his actions. It’s one year that he will be in prison to reflect on his actions. He can get no alcohol, exercise, prayer, meditate or any other activity he chooses. He must come to his senses and correct what he’s done. I wonder how he will do it. Amadeus is 13 and a half years old when they get out. It’s a crucial age for them to change, and it is so important. He may not recognize his father.
Boris might wake up in prison.
“I wish that this will be a wake up call for him. It is true. Boris was never forced to assume responsibility. But this time, he learned there were consequences. It’s not possible to live life the way he does with so many kids. . .’
If Boris were to sit here, what would you tell him? I’d tell Boris, “It’s not an Olympic game.” You’re not at Wimbledon, bloody! It is not the U.S. Open.’ The man is 54, my God! Our son understands more than his father.
Do you think this is the right time to question whether Amadeus is any like his father?
‘No!’ She responds, “No!” “Although he looks the same as his father, his personality will differ from that of his mother. Amadeus has lived with women his entire life. I can assure you that he will treat women with respect.
‘He has a little girlfriend already — he has known her from nursery — and he says: ‘Mama, I am a one-woman man. I’ll open doors for you. She will be treated like a queen. ‘
Lilly is not in direct contact with Boris — which may be just as well for Boris. Ask me if his mother is the main contact or Lilian the girlfriend of the political risk analyst, who supported him throughout the trial. Is she still there for him?
“I wish so, because she’s all that he left. He is a person I felt a bit sorry for in certain ways. He had everything — all that money, women, fame. He had it all, and he f***ed it up.’
When I ask her if she’s worried about Boris’ safety in prison or whether he can cope with being incarcerated, it is an interesting moment.
“Boris will be okay,” she said. He will, of course. He is Boris Becker — everyone will love him in there because he charms everyone. He is an excellent storyteller. You can imagine everybody rushing to Boris Becker, astonished that he is here. Mark my words. Boris will be just fine. He always has been.
Is their son okay?
“Yes. It’s my responsibility to ensure he’s there and, God save me, that I will.