On Friday, there will be an endless stream of people vowing to make next year a better year on our social media pages.

New Year resolutions for improving health will appear: eat more green, exercise more, and do yoga every day.

It will include pledges to live more sustainably and achieve your career goals. You’ll find posts that encourage us to be more grateful for our families, friends and partners.

However, you will not see couples discussing ways to revitalize their sex life.

It would be nice to believe that this is simply because most couples don’t wish to share their feelings in public. It’s also not something that happens in private.

What is the point of putting effort into all areas of your life, when you realize that things require refreshing in order to stay vital and healthy, other than sex?

The start of a New Year is a great time to take stock of your sex life and take steps to improve it, according to Tracey Cox. One tip is to take things out of the bedroom (stock image)

TraceyCox says that the New Year’s Eve is an ideal time to review your sexual life and make improvements. A tip: Get out of the bedroom. Stock image

Many still believe the hugely harmful myth that passion and desire are just natural in good relationships.

No effort required.

You’re wrong!

Because most couples have had sex the exact same way every time, their sex life is often the first to end.

Do not let it happen to you in 2022. These are eight easy ways to make your relationship a success.

1. Sex outside the bedroom

Yes, it’s cold. It’s also more comfortable.

It’s also the death of your sexlife if you only have sex in your bed.

Tracey Cox explains why you should spend time improving your sex life in 2022

Tracey Cox shares why it is important to improve your sex life by 2022

Get creative. Enjoy sex while on Netflix, in your spare room or sitting on the couch. Take a shower, or take a dip in the tub together for some fun. 

You can make odd positions better by using stairs.

‘Location, location, location!’ It doesn’t apply only to real estate.

2. Every time you change one thing, it will be the last.

Change one thing in addition to the new location while you make changes.

The brain does not need much to make something mundane into exciting.

If you usually do it in the morning, do it at night – or vice versa. You don’t have to take off all of your clothes. Keep some. Wear heels, or add some. Turn on some music. Wear a blindfold. You can talk while doing the task or you can keep silent.

You can switch among a couple of your favourite routines. You don’t have to do the exact same thing each time you have sexual contact.

You're not actually having it at all? The new year is the perfect time to have the conversations you've been avoiding for months, says Tracey Cox. Stock image

It’s not like you are actually experiencing it. Tracey cox says that the New Year is the right time to finally have those difficult conversations you avoided for months. Stock photo

3. Be proud of your body

The landmark review, which included 57 studies and spanned two decades, discovered significant connections between body image, and nearly every factor that is associated with sex: desire, sexual self-esteem, arousal, and orgasm.

This is not rocket science. If you are ashamed of your body, and believe it to be ugly, then why would anyone want to look at or touch it?

6. Give your sex techniques a makeover 

When we sexually stimulate someone manually or orally, it’s a common mistake.

Get more creative by 2022

Always put your hand in front of your mouth. When giving your boyfriend oral sex make sure that you can access his anus, testicles and penis. 

Do it upside-down on the bed, and drop down to your knees.Oder you can sit sideways on the bed and let him stand directly in front.

Your legs can be crossed over your shoulders or pulled up on your back while you lie flat on your back. You can stand on your all-fours and he will slide underneath. Then, he’ll face the other direction and use pillows to raise him to the correct height. This is a great position for power: You stand straight up with your legs separated and lean back against the wall.

Stand behind the man you are trying to touch and grab his hands.It’s especially sexy to do this in front of his mirror. Place the index and thumb of your penis in two rings. Then slide them in opposite directions.

Use lubricant to prevent them from licking you.You can make each stroke feel more pleasant by using this method. Instead of focusing on the tips of their fingers, encourage them to work with the whole fingertip as well as the flat part of their finger. You feel softer, and it covers more area.

Place your back against them. Place your hands on the sides of your legs and ask them to place their legs behind you. You can allow them to use your hands for vulva and clitoris. Or one hand on your breasts.

Year after year, study after study confirms the same conclusion: Being sexually attracted means that you are more likely to have sex and enjoy it more, engage in sex more, and feel more comfortable talking about sex with your partner.

What can you do to make your body feel more beautiful?

Get more sex. Our subconscious is conditioned to believe that if our partner desires to be with us, then we shouldn’t stop having sex.

Exercise – not to achieve the perfect body but to feel fitter and more energetic.

Do not believe society that you must look certain ways to be considered sexy. The definition of “sexy” is not about how you look, but what your attitude and behavior are. People who are confident and comfortable in their bodies, rather than being perfect physically, are the most attractive.

4. Have sex more often – or for longer

Regular sex can make you feel happier about your body. There are many health and emotional benefits to sex.

It can help your heart, skin, and circulatory system. It keeps you feeling bonded as a couple, perks up your mood and helps combat depression – and that’s before you even get to the ‘It’s fun!’ part.

You can set yourself challenging goals that are both achievable and push you beyond your normal limits. This means that you should set goals for the next fortnight, month or year.

You should aim for five times sex per month if you have sexual encounters twice weekly. You can have it twice a week, but you should increase that to at least three times the next two years.

You can add 10-15 minutes to every alternate session if you are happy with your frequency, but you don’t like to rush.

5. Get rid of any sexual issues

Are you really having it?

New Year is the best time for you to start those conversations that have been on your mind for months.

You don’t have to make it seem threatening. There are no guarantees that someone will listen to your words if you don’t make it sound serious.

Many people panic, then stop listening to others and focus on their thoughts of ‘We are about to break apart’ or ’I’m useless in bed’.

Instead, engage in casual and bite-sized conversation.

You can ask your partner if they enjoy what you do to you. Are you asking for me to make it more difficult or easier? Which way would you prefer it? Do you prefer this style or another?’.

You can say “I love it when that happens” to get more of something. Do you think it can be done for longer? You can say “I love when you do this” if you don’t like the way something is done. What do you love more? It’s when you do X. This really makes you feel good’.8

8. You are looking for inspiration to spice up your sexual life? Choose a few from this list… 

  • You can tie each other up
  • Make some dreams come true
  • Anal play or temperature play? (contrasting hot and cold sensations).
  • Purchase new sex toys. Sex with blindfolded or complete darkness.
  • For a day, be each other’s slave sex. You can make sexy videos together or snap sexy photographs of one another
  • You can have semi-public sex
  • Porn with your friends
  • You can have a mean food or sexual orgasm.
  • Find a challenge position that requires you to focus, stay present and maintain your attention.

Try something different if you’re looking for a new challenge. You can see their reactions by watching the video. They will be interested in more details and appear intrigued if they are.

You can encourage them to share what is still working with them. It’s the best thing for your sex lives to show your partner that you are open to constructive feedback.

7. Get more pleasure

It’s not all about that 30-second-to-a-minute rush of euphoria – but by God, it’s rather a nice feeling when it happens!

There are many ways to make orgasms intenser and more common.

You can still get there if your brain isn’t able to recognize the signs. It will be easier for your brain to recognize signs that indicate impending orgasm. You can focus on your natural responses to orgasm, such as breathing faster, tightening your stomach muscles and moaning, then exaggerating it.

You can have more than one orgasm per session if your preference is for stimulation. Your first session was via oral sex. Have your second one with your partner through penetration or using your fingers. For the third, use your vibrator.

Do not aim for simultaneous orgasm.

Your orgasms will be stronger if your focus is solely on you and your pleasure, rather than on trying to determine where your partner ranks on the arousal scale. While it’s very polite to get together, there are risks of failure and fizzlers.

“Simmer” by anticipating the future, long before touching each other. During intercourse, rub your body together and keep full contact.

You can also exercise your pelvic floor muscles by pulling on their hair and spanking their bottom.

More information is available about relationships and sex. Tracey has a blog and podcasts. You can also find books at traceycox.com.