After her bladder cancer battle, Tracey Emin said that she was saved by ‘love’ and not art after she revealed that she had 6’fell for someone shortly before being diagnosed.
The artist, 58, who was given the all-clear from bladder cancer eight months ago, appeared on BBC Radio 4’s Cultural Life and told host Wilson that she was diagnosed last year when she was at her happiest.
Emin spoke out about last year’s love affair and said that “every time I say “I’m so Happy”, something terrible has happened. I was sitting on my roof with my feet on the slates and thought, “God, it’s so wonderful.” I was then diagnosed with nearly terminal cancer a few weeks later.
This time, it was love that saved me. Not art. I fell in Love just before I learned I had Cancer. Once, I made a neon sign that said “everything’s different when you love someone.” It is, the rain is different, the wind is different….everything is much more heightened. You feel all the sensations, colours are more intense.
After discovering a tumor in her bladder while painting a malignant lump, the 58-year old was diagnosed early last year.
After falling in love with someone shortly before her diagnosis of bladder cancer, the artist revealed that it was ‘love’ that saved her. Pictured at the GQ Men of the Year Awards and Arrivals at the Tate Modern, London, 5 September 2017.
When asked how she felt that love helped her through, she said that if it wasn’t for the love of her family, she would have floated off. I think being held and having something tangible on the earth is what I need. I had been completely alone for 10 years, without any affection, love, or support.
I was shocked to see the reality of human flesh and all that it contained. What do you want me to do? I think my willpower has acted in this other direction.
Tracey, well-known for her controversial works such as Everyone I Have Ever Slept with and My Bed, explained how she had created them. Accepted that her cancer would likely end her life.
I thought, “I’m probably dying by Christmas.” Let’s get on with our lives. I’m happier now. I feel almost enlightened.
She continued by describing how accepting death makes life more positive. “It meant that I didn’t have death to fight, which allowed me to concentrate.” [on life]. Try to relax as much as you can if you feel like your drowning. You will eventually float to safety.
She had surgery last year, where many of her reproductive and other organs were removed. A stoma bag was then fitted to her.
“If you panic and fight against it, you’ll drown in water.” That’s what happened to me. I thought ‘I’m probably going to die’… and I just popped back up to the surface.’
She also said that she was referred to as a “narcissistic deranged screaming banshee” and that she’s been “overlooked” as an artist.
Recent exhibitions include a neon sign that reads “I want my time together with you” in London’s St Pancras station, 2018. Last year, her paintings and neons were displayed at the Royal Academy.
When she was asked if her painting had been overlooked, the artist replied: “No, I think that I’ve been overlooked.” I believe they thought I was some kind of narcissistic screaming banshee.
She also went on to say how life as an artist is ‘really lonely’.
She said, “You can’t be an artist hanging out on a giant party. It’s never going work.”
“There’s a part within you that needs to go deep inside. I call it ‘inside the cave’. If you don’t go into the cave, you won’t make any art. To make art, you need to be able see yourself from a distance.
Emin discovered a tumor in her bladder while she was working on a painting of the malignant lump in 2020.
The artist was suffering from very aggressive squamous cells cancer. Her surgeons were concerned that it could spread to her lymph nodes and kill her in a matter of months.
Therefore, her bladder was removed along with her uterus, fallopian tubes and ovaries.
The artist stated that she had spent 24 hours with her solicitor writing her will. She then sent an email to 70 friends, breaking the news about her cancer and instructing them not to contact her.
Emma Barnett, BBC Radio 4’s Woman’s Hour, previously reported that she’s now focusing on enjoying life, despite chronic pain and having to wear a stoma bag.
She said, “Sounds strange, but I’ve never felt so happy.” I know that some people would be very unhappy in my circumstances. But I am amazed at how wonderful my life is. And that’s something I hadn’t realized before.
Emin said that her major surgery was similar to having a baby or gender reassignment. There aren’t that many people.
“It is probably the exact same as someone who had a sexchange, about what you would have do to get it all back. I’m happy to get my life back right now. And I’m not being greedy.’
The artist confessed that she is unable to stop being ‘deliriously joyful’ and instead feels ‘oh dear, I’ve got it all to do’.
Barnett told Tracey: “It’s a little like having a child – you get pregnant, it’s hard, the pregnancy, then you get the baby and you think, “Now it is the rest of my lives.”
She continued, “With this operation and with everything else, I am so glad to be alive.” Now, I have to deal the consequences.
The artist indicated that she will now be undergoing annual cancer scans.
Highlights from Tracey Emin’s career
1995, Everyone I Have Ever slept With 1963-1995: This piece was the first to bring Tracey Emin more fame in the art and general public.
1999, My Bed: The piece is Emin’s record of several days spent in bed in the grip of depression. The sheets are stained and the bed has not been made. You can see a variety items, such as condoms and contraceptive pills, condoms, money, and underwear stained by menstrual blood, scattered all around. The Turner Prize was awarded to the work in 1999. It received mixed reactions from the press and the public.
2001, The Perfect Place to Grow: This work pays homage to the artist’s Turkish Cypriot father who, she says, is a fantastic gardener but a terrible carpenter. It is a wooden birdhouse-like structure built on wooden stilts.
2004, Hate and Power Can be a Terrible Thing: This appliquéd blanket work is a blistering attack Margaret Thatcher, and her participation in the Falklands War of 1982
2011, I Promise To Love You: In the 2000s, Emin began working extensively with neon lighting. These works are composed of words and phrases written by Emin. Pictured is 2011’s neon sculpture, I Promise To Love you