From royals to celebrities, anyone who’s anyone is keeping hens. And, discovers Stuart Heritage, it’s not just for their eggs…
A couple of weeks ago, at the end of a playdate, the grandmother of my son’s best friend came sidling up to me holding a box. ‘Want some eggs?’ she asked with a conspiratorial smile. With every reason, she was happy with herself. A box of fresh eggs is a great gift. A bunch of fresh flowers can be bought by anyone. Fresh eggs are one of the greatest things that a person can eat. After saying yes, I spent too much time gazing at my eggsy haul.
Retrospectively, it was clear that the gesture was powerful. Because she wasn’t just giving me eggs. I was also informed by her that she has hens. Hens are trendy these days. The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge admitted to acquiring ‘lots of chickens’ during lockdown while, during their blockbuster Oprah interview, their arch rivals Harry and Meghan showed off the elaborate ‘Archie’s Chick Inn’ coop in their garden. Geri Halliwell and the Camerons have chickens. Jennifer Garner was known to lead her hens through Los Angeles. Isabella Rossellini published an entire book all about chickens. Elizabeth Hurley often poses proudly with her brood. Tori Spelling calls herself ‘the chicken whisperer’ and carries a hen around town like a chihuahua. If you haven’t got a chicken, you’re nobody.
Which isn’t to say that my son’s friend’s gran is status obsessed, but she is one of a growing breed. Recent research shows that hen ownership in Britain is increasing. 1.338,000 households owned chickens last year. Country Life magazine claims that chicken ownership boomed so wildly during lockdown that they are now the nation’s fourth most popular pet.
Why? Simple: a dog can give you companionship, but having chickens means you’ll never have to panic buy a box of eggs again. Hens make great company. You’ll be able to derive endless fun from watching their complex social hierarchy work itself out. After all, we didn’t get the phrase ‘pecking order’ from nowhere. A hen’s personality is a distinct thing, although to be fair it does help if you buy the right breed. A Buff Orpington, for instance, won’t give you the most eggs, but they’re famed for their calmness. Although Rhode Island Reds are known for being mean, they can also produce great eggs.
Hens can be a great companion and provide endless entertainment
Now that you’re convinced, it’s time to start looking for chickens. Finding a chicken from a breeder might guarantee some placidity, but it can also cost; the closest breeder to me sells German Deathlayer hens for £50 a pop. Adopting would be a better option. British Hen Welfare Trust has a mission to rescue commercial hens and save them from being killed every year. You might not be able get your hands upon a hen soon due to the high demand. But doesn’t the exclusivity just make you want one more?
Research is a great way to get started. In the 1990s my family became the owner of one solitary, noisy cockerel named – thanks to my little brother – Roast. The cockerel woke us too early in the mornings, did not do much but walk around and left us with nothing to eat. After a few weeks my mum made my dad give it away, although it’s only now that I’ve realised ‘give it away’ was probably a euphemism for something scarier.
It is better to get three or more hens. You need to make sure their coop is sturdy and has plenty of space. The PDSA suggests a high-quality, commercially prepared feed for your chickens. They also need plenty of water. The foxes can cause serious problems so it is worth spending extra money to secure your poultry. After all that’s done, you can relax and upload photos of your chicken pals to Instagram.
The hen may be the most popular pet in the world, but there are limits. Washington Post featured a group of Silicon Valley geniuses that loved chickens and gave them salmon and watermelon as their diet. Then they put the hens in nappies to allow them to roam freely inside.
Getting eggs from a friend is a wonderful thing, but it’s important to keep this thing in perspective. If the answer to ‘why did the chicken cross the road?’ is ‘in order to take up its place on your sofa’ then it’s time to put the birds back in the coop.