Very few victims of domestic abuse will want to admit what has been happening to them – not even to their closest friends, let alone to the wider public. It was the same as it was for me.
It was last year that I vividly recall. The family courts concluded that Andrew Griffiths was my ex-husband, and after a long, emotionally exhausting four day fact-finding hearing which included over a full day in the witness box the charges were proven.
It was an indescribable feeling of relief. Protecting my child against an abusive parent was what I did. However, it was impossible to make the decision public.
I could not imagine being considered a victim to domestic abuse and rape. The thought made me numb. With my head high, how would I ever face another person?
Two journalists wrote to me, expressing their passion for reforming Family Court and transparency. They also wanted to make it easier for victims of domestic abuse.
The family courts concluded that Andrew Griffiths’ allegations of my abuse were true after an exhausting hearing. Kate Griffiths is both pictured.
My ten-years in abusive relationships had transformed me into someone I was not happy with.
It was clear that I was being coercedively controlled. It was now time for me to inform others and allow them to see my judgment. It was now my time to regain control.
Since July 2018 when I was involved in sex scandals, a lot has happened.
After standing as a candidate for the General Election of Dec 2019, and being elected to his old seat, I pledged that I would stand up for victims of domestic violence survivors.
Because I am an MP, I had the unique opportunity to advocate on behalf of others. When I saw that my family court case was being published, it gave me that platform.
Numerous emails have been sent to me by domestic abuse victims, who also use the Family Courts in an effort to protect their children.
I’ve not been able, however, to communicate to my former husband that I understand the Court of Appeal’s Friday ruling that findings of domestic violence, coercive controls, and rape against him could actually be published.
The personal struggle continues. Ex-partner has repeatedly taken me to the courts, and she’s made appeal after appeal. The Government is currently looking into measures that would prevent abusers.
Even though I was not able to contact my ex-husband in spite of the allegations, the court ordered that I pay the costs of my abuser. Kate Griffiths
Even though the shocking allegations against my ex-husband were made, I have to still facilitate contact with our child. The court ordered me to pay the costs of my abuser.
He raped my mother. This is simply not right. This is an extension of the abuse. Victims feel retraumatized.
I am appealing against this decision – and, from the correspondence I receive from others in similar positions, I know that I am far from alone. This must stop.
The Family Courts’ functioning is being reviewed at the moment by the government.
When one parent has been proven to have raped, physically or psychologically abused their child the other, parental involvement must not begin with the current situation of contact at all cost.
Family Court was established to help victims and children. However, there are horror stories that children have had to be forced into contact or removed from abusive parents. This can have devastating consequences.
My worry about my ex-husband’s contact and the outcome of my court case regarding my child’s future is what eats at me each day. I am still suffering, tortured by this constant fear for my child – just as I know many others are.
Domestic abuse takes so many forms – physical, psychological, financial control. It may include bruises, black eyes and other physical symptoms. However, it’s always kept secret.
You never know who it could happen to.
Many victims learn this the hard way: To stay safe they must put on a show. It can be difficult to identify signs of abuse. Those who have been abused feel they have to hide – that there’s a huge sense of shame to it. It’s not right.
This was a very personal decision of mine to publish the verdict on the abuse that I received.
I do hope it inspires other victims to speak up. We are all stronger when we speak together.
Women’s Aid and Refuge charity receive the fee.
As concerns over alleged bullying and sexual harassment grow, police are summoned to the Commons to investigate a Commons rape case
Brendan Carlin is the Mail On Sunday’s Editor
There are concerns Last night, allegations of harassment and bullying in the House of Commons escalated with the disclosure that a police officer had made a rape allegation.
Scotland Yard has confirmed that last night a Commons employee claimed to be assaulted at the parliamentary estate.
It is understood that the allegation – made in the 12 months up to March 31 this year, but potentially relating to an earlier incident – involved an alleged attack on a member of an MP’s staff.
Sources said that the report by an outside force to Scotland Yard was investigated by officers, but didn’t lead to formal investigations because there weren’t enough evidence.
Scotland Yard has confirmed that a member from the MP’s staff was assaulted in Parliament. Photo: The Houses of Parliament
Jenny Symmons (chair of GMB union branch to MPs’ staff) said that they were shocked by another report of rape on the parliamentary estate.
Elle stated that the absence of an exhaustive police investigation didn’t give her’reassurance’ that the victim or case had been fully dealt with.
The claim comes after a Tory MP was ruled by a family judge that she had been raped by her ex-Government Minister husband. The Mail reported on Sunday about her decision to disclose her trauma.
Andrew Griffiths, former-Small-Business Minister, was found guilty last week of having raped Kate Griffiths in a eight-year-long campaign of abuse. The claims are denied by Griffiths.
Ms Griffiths was divorced from her husband.