Experts have revealed how you can help your partner propose after Kristen Stewart revealed she ‘very distinctly’ carved out how she wanted her girlfriend to pop-the-question. 

The LA-born actress, 31,  who was rocketed to worldwide fame playing Bella Swan in the Twilight Saga, revealed earlier this week that she is engaged after saying yes to her girlfriend Dylan Meyer’s proposal.

On Tuesday she spoke on Howard Stern. She said that she wanted to get married so she clearly carved it out and got it. It is happening.

Martina Mercer, a relationship expert told FEMAIL it is about communication with your partner to help you organize the proposal.

She explained: ‘If you’ve both talked about marriage, you know you want to get married, there’s no reason why the two of you can’t have input into the proposal too.

Experts have revealed how you can help your partner propose after it emerged Kristen Stewart 'very distinctly' carved out how she wanted her girlfriend to pop-the-question

Experts reveal how to help your partner propose. Kristen Stewart clearly outlined how she would like her girlfriend to pop the question.

The partner might be relieved to give up some of the responsibility, depending on their character. It won’t work for everyone.’

She explained: ‘It’s rare for a proposal to live up to the fantasy created over a lifetime but Kirsten seems to have managed this perfectly by making suggestions to her partner.

“It is not always easy to communicate your desires for a perfect proposal, without sacrificing spontaneity and control. But there are methods to do it. 


According to the expert, communicating with your partner about the subject of proposing is the best approach. 

Martina explained that you should have communication in order to be able to influence the manner your partner proposes. 

“Your partner must know that you can trust them while also accepting constructive suggestions. This isn’t always easy.’

‘Communication also helps to open the conversation of, “what would your ideal proposal look like?” 

“This is a more gentle way to let your voice be heard without being completely in control.”

Tatyana Dyachenko is a relationship expert who suggested making a proposal scrapbook with ideas to your partner. 

She shared the following: “Communication, is the key to any successful partnership. Communicating your wishes for a proposal is no exception. 

If you are clear about how your proposal should go, and you feel it is important for you to do so, it’s important that you discuss this with your partner. 

Wife and wife one day: The beauty broke the news when on Howard Stern on Tuesday. 'We're marrying, we're totally gonna do it,' she announced on SiriusXM's The Howard Stern Show

Wife and wife one day: The beauty broke the news when on Howard Stern on Tuesday. She announced that she was marrying and they are totally going to do it on SiriusXM’s The Howard Stern Show

“Although we love our partners, they can’t read our minds. That is why communication is so important.”

She added: ‘ The best way to effectively communicate to your partner about what you want is to sit down with them and go over everything. 

‘You may want to create a proposal scrapbook together which contains all of the ideas you’d like to incorporate. 

“Always write down everything so that your partner can refer to it later.”

“If you are able to communicate a timeline with your partner, but not as far as setting the date for the proposal. 

Talk about what you don’t want  

Lucy Beresford, a relationship expert said that speaking with your partner when there are certain things you do not want is crucial.

She explained: ‘If for example you hate surprises, it’s important that your partner is aware of this. 

‘This means you are unlikely to be shocked with a public proposal with all your friends and family involved on the ‘secret’.

“Settings are important. Personal locations can add meaning to each moment. 


Lucy recommended keeping a “sense of perspective” about the proposal. 

She stated: “Do you want the opportunity to spend your whole life with this person? Or do you just want to experience it as a social media-only event?” 

‘Letting go of control in this matter is a way of showing your partner that you are flexible and tolerant in general, and won’t act like a control freak in the marriage – unless they already know that about you, in which case, let rip and write it all down, with images from Pinterest and a sound-track.

“But, if you offer gentle guidance, your partner can show you their love in their own way. That, together with the ring is a lovely gift to give.”

And Tatyana added: ‘Try to let go of the notion of perfect and don’t lose sight of the reason why you want to get engaged in the first place. Which is, hopefully, because you love your partner and want to spend the rest of your life with them. 

‘As much as you might desire the picture perfect Instagram worthy engagement scenario that is not always how it works out in real life. 

‘Although whimsical and romantic engagement stories can be a nice thing to have it’s not the be all and end all of a relationship.’

Consider dropping subtle tips when your partner and you are together in a special spot, such as “this would make a great place for you to get engaged.”  

“And wait to see if your partner picks up the hint. Given the number of proposals that are available online, it is possible to mention to your partner a couple of these to let them know that you prefer candles, roses, in restaurants, or in part.

You can be flexible about your expectations 

Experts concur that it’s important to let go of control and allow yourself to dream up a proposal.

Martina said, “If you expect your partner will follow your instructions exactly, without adding any personality or ideas of their own, then you might be disappointed.” 

Let go of all the fantasies, and know that the only thing that could have been is love. 

‘The proposal is unique to the two of you, and it’s the feelings that should be embraced and remembered, not necessarily the setting.’

Tatyana agreed, explaining: ‘If you’re partner loves you I have no doubt they want to give you the proposal of your dreams but they are only human and can only do so much.

“If they are under too much stress, they may become anxious and even feel resentful.” 

‘Be realistic about what can be achieved, the budget that you have and what your partner is capable of.’ 

KEEP Elements of Surprise 

Experts say it is crucial to communicate with your partner clearly about the proposal. 

Tatyana explained: “You want to add some surprise.” Do not get mad at your partner for forgetting something during the wedding ceremony.

“They’ll have tried their best, and your anger at them will only escalate the situation.” 

‘Trust is a big part of relationship so you have to trust in your partner and know that they only want the best for you.’ 

Meanwhile Martina added: ‘You can guide your partner in the type of proposal you’d like, the place, the time of day, the people you will be surrounded with, but it’s a good idea to let them choose when it will take place. 

“This keeps the surprise element in tact, and preserves the magic that a proposal should possess.”  


Alex MellorBrook, founder of Select Personal Introductions says those with an unambiguous vision of how they would like to be proposed to should ‘take charge’ and propose. 

He said: ‘The question you need to consider is, which is more important, the way they propose or spending the rest of your life with this wonderful person.

‘If it’s the proposition itself and you think they may not achieve what you have wanted for so long, then you propose. 

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