Rachel Diamond looks like most of the moms at the Park Slope café where we meet.

She is wearing a green tee shirt, a black corduroy jumper, sensible footwear, and a smart, brown leather bag. She sips a four-dollar iced chai. 

Except that the 31-year old is not a mom. She never will be. Diamond cheerily says, “You know Diamond, I never expected to become the poster child of sterilization.”

The TikTok site of an aspiring actor contains short funny videos about Diamond’s job at the register in a cafe near Union Square, as well as updates on Rue, her rescue pitbull who has anemia. 

You will also find clips extolling her childless life. They have titles such as ‘Sterilization Attempt #3’ and ‘Being Children-Free: We DO KNOW What We’re Missing. It’s been five months since she had her fallopian tubes cut — not tied — and she has 64,000 followers.

Diamond was raised in Hershey (Pennsylvania) and assumed that she would have a family. 

Then came college at Arcadia University. Her political awakening away from her conservative roots and towards progressivism. A few months after graduating, she discovered an online therapist who helped her realize that being spanked in her childhood was deeply traumatic and made it difficult to fear authority figures like her father.

She decided she didn’t want to be one. Never ever ever.

She says, “Looking back, it is clear that I never pretend that my American Girl dolls are children. They were always my sisters.” “There were little signs that I wasn’t preparing for motherhood. It’s like saying, “I’ve always wanted a mother.”

Diamond isn’t an outlier. Americans are having fewer children than ever since the 1930s when we started keeping track. Diamond is one of these women. She is not only putting off becoming pregnant, but she is also eliminating the possibility of it.

Suzy Weiss interviewed aspiring actress Rachel Diamond (pictured) who said she 'never expected to be the poster child of sterilization'

Suzy Weiss interviewed Rachel Diamond, aspiring actress (pictured), who said that she didn’t expect to be the poster girl for sterilization.

Diamond, who underwent a sterilization treatment, decided in her adulthood that her childhood trauma made her fear authority figures and she no longer wanted to be a mom

Diamond, who had a sterilization procedure, decided that her childhood trauma caused her to fear authority figures, and she didn’t want to be a mother.

Last year, the number of deaths exceeded that of births in 25 states — up from five the year before. 

The marriage rate is also at an all-time low, at 6.5 marriages per 1,000 people.

Millennials (56%) are the first generation to be unmarried. 

They are also more likely to live with their own parents, according to Pew, than previous generations were in their twenties and thirties.

They are also not having sex. The number of young men aged 18-30 who have admitted to not having sex in the last year has tripled between 2008-2018. 

New York City, where young, secular Americans live, is becoming increasingly childless. There are more dogs in San Francisco than there are children.

It used to be that people wanted children. Not only women, but men, too. 

It was the default position for a healthy young adult, and our existence was dependent on it. 

We wanted to do other things, of course, and the great post-feminist challenge was how to have it all — the proper work-life balance, the career and the baby, the supportive husband and the adventurous life.

For an increasing number of people, the question isn’t whether or not to have it all. It’s not about how to do it all.

Diamond and her partner instead have dogs, which is a rising trend among many millennials. Cities like New York, where young, secular Americans flock to to build their lives, are increasingly childless. In San Francisco, there are more dogs than children

Diamond and her partner now have dogs, which is becoming a rising trend among many millennials. New York City is a city where young, secular Americans are flocking to to build their lives. It is becoming more childless. There are more dogs in San Francisco than children

Diamond uses social media to provide updates on her rescue pitbull, Rue, who has anemia

Diamond uses social media for updates on Rue, her rescue pitbull who is suffering from anemia.

This psychological reversal was not something that happened by chance. It occurred within the swirling hurricane of spiritual, cultural, and environmental forces. 

The message from this young group is clear: Life is already exhausting. The world is a wrecked and burning place. 

Who would not want to bring in innocent new life to a criminally unequal society located on a planet where sea levels are rising rapidly?

The Rapture — sorry, the end — is upon us, and this is no time for onesies. The New Yorker, NPR, and AOC agree. According to a new poll, 39% of Gen Zers are hesitant to procreate for fear of the climate apocalypse. 

A nationally representative study of adults in Michigan found that over a quarter of adults there are child-free by choice. 

And new research by the Institute of Family Studies found that the desire to have a child among adults decreased by 17% since the onset of the pandemic.

Isabel, 28, a self-described antinatalist who lives in Texas southwestern of Houston, stated that she believes it is morally wrong to bring a child into this world. ‘No matter what someone’s achievements are, they will suffer.

She acted sooner than expected because of Texas’s restrictive abortion law. Isabel stated, “I was going to wait till I was thirty to get it done. But, with the Heartbeat Bill in effect, I can’t accept the risk of getting pregnant and being unable to abort.

Last week, she was approved for The Operation — aka laparoscopic bilateral salpingectomy. Many surgeons won’t sterilize young, childless mothers because of high rates of regret. So it can take some time to secure one. 

The procedure will take place over the next few months, depending on Covid’s availability and the hospital’s ability to perform elective surgery. Isabel’s surgeon will make three small incisions near her abdomen and one above her belly button. This will allow the surgeon insert cameras and then to remove her fallopian tubes.

Isabel plans to have a’sterilization event’ at a local restaurant. There will be plenty to drink, friends, and Isabel’s brother and his wife, who are also child-free.

Isabel says, “I don’t want my life to be worked away,” and she hopes to retire in her 50s or earlier.

Darlene Nickell, 31 (pictured), in Denver, Colo., said that she had her tubes taken eight months ago. Weiss was told by her doctor ten-years prior that she must have written consent from her partner or had already had two children.

Darlene told Weiss she was surprised that her obstetrician agreed to sterilize her when she brought it up at her yearly check up

Darlene shared with Weiss her surprise that her obstetrician agreed for her to sterilize her at her annual check up.

Darlene Nickell, 31, a Denver resident, had her tubes removed eight-months ago. She says that her generation is aware of the traumatizing ways that their parents have caused.

“My mom smoked a lot and did her own thing while my dad was away for work. She claims that her parents’ marriages improved after she became an empty nester.

She was 21 when she decided to get sterilized. At that time, her doctor advised her to either give written consent from her male partner or if she had already had two children.

In the meantime, her high school friend and childless male friend had gotten his vasectomy last year. “That felt like an assault on me.”

Darlene, who was surprised that her obstetrician agreed to sterilize her when she brought it up at her yearly check up, is the self-proclaimed black sheep of her family — though she says her two younger sisters, one in her twenties and one in her teens, are likely to follow her lead. 

The 23-year-old is considering sterilization for herself, while the other is ‘feeling inspired’ by a child-free existence.

Reddit is a popular social media platform where child-free people can find each other. There’s r/childfree and r/antinatalism and r/fencesitters — as in, ‘I’m on the fence about this whole kids thing.’ 

You can also find doctors who will sterilize your body, as well as how-to guides that answer frequently asked questions such “Can you trust a fence-sitter guy who doesn’t want to have a vasectomy?”

Rachel Diamond's live-in boyfriend, Cameron Gilkes, 33, (pictured) met on eHarmony seven years ago and 'came out' to each other on their second date

Cameron Gilkes (pictured), Rachel Diamond’s live-in boyfriend and 33-year-old boyfriend, met on eHarmony seven decades ago. They ‘came to out’ on their second date

Cameron Gilkes, Rachel Diamond’s 33-year-old boyfriend, introduced Rachel to Reddit. He was her new family of people who are against creating families. 

Cameron said, “I asked to have a vasectomy when I was 24 and 26.” Cameron was hopeful for any type or male contraceptive. However, a Vasalgel injectable has been in trials for years before Rachel was sterilized. She says, “We’d been trying since a long time.”

They met on eHarmony seven-years ago and ‘came to out’ on their second date. 

The script from the movie “Interstellar” is on a stuffed bookhelf next to “The Feminine Mystique”, “Screenwriting for Dummies”, and “The Peter Pan Chronicles”. They share a two-bedroom apartment with a third roommate they met through a friend.

Although the space is small, it is clean and tidy. Diamond said that Diamond told Diamond that she is afraid of other dogs. “She was bred to fight, and she is so f-ing hard to socialize. She’s never been socialized.” 

Star Wars action figurines are placed on a shoe rack, just beneath a Bluetooth enabled lightsaber. These custom-made items were made to look as real as possible. 

Magnets from The Strand, one showing a Baby Yoda in a spaceship, as well as a few from Brooklyn Public Library, such a one declaring “Knowledge is Power” are found on the fridge.

Child-freedom — and Diamond and Gilkes are child-free, not anti-natalist, in that they don’t think it’s necessarily wrong for other people to procreate — comes with its own lingo. 

“Brant” means “breederrant”, which is the annoying things that people who have children tell others about how great their life with them. 

‘Mombie” is a sultry mom-zombie who has lost her way to the land of breastmilk and binkies.

‘THINKER’ is an acronym for ‘Two Healthy Individuals No Kids Early Retirement. 

“Bingo-ing” refers to the questions that the child-free asks the child-full. What if you regret doing it? Who will care for you when you get older?”⁠

Dating apps have taken notice. Hinge, for example, has a section called “My Vitals” that includes ‘Vices,” which are if you use drugs. There’s also a section called “Virtues,” which is for religious and political affiliations. You can choose to tick whether you want children or not. Premium plans start at $29.99 per monthly and allow you to eliminate future breeders from the feed if you are child-free.

Fear of pregnancy, fear or authority, fear about preeclampsia (a condition that can cause unfavorable outcomes for both mother and baby), fear from postpartum depression, and fear of being pregnant are some of the reasons why child-free people don’t want to have babies. In the case of Diamond and Gilkes, racism.

Diamond is white. Gilkes is black. They also worry about the life of a biracial child in America today. 

Diamond said, “I wouldn’t be able say ‘I get’ if they came back from school and were bullied for having dark hair or skin colors.”

Gilkes stated, “I had a girlfriend who broke up with me because she didn’t want to deal racism that comes with dating a white guy. She also said that if she had children, she wouldn’t know how to do black girls hair. Diamond was a bit confused by this. Diamond said, “I mean there are salons and professional for that.”

I asked them if they ever thought about their own personal legacy — the people they would leave behind. Rachel said, “The whole legacy thing makes my laugh.” It’s like, “Who do ya think you are?” Is it your dream for your child to be a founding dad? That would make them a colonizer.

Diamond and Gilkes are child-free, not anti-natalist, in that they don't think it's necessarily wrong for other people to procreate — comes with its own lingo

Diamond and Gilkes are child-free, not anti-natalist, in that they don’t think it’s necessarily wrong for other people to procreate — comes with its own lingo

Sophia — a 19-year old communications student who goes to a small school in British Columbia, and declined to give her last name for privacy reasons — was just approved for sterilization by her doctor in Canada. 

She said that she has a great relationship and trust with her parents, who are’super chill about her decision to have no children’ despite the fact they are both religious Christians.

She has one sister who she says is pro-kid, or at least not anti, and though Sophia doesn’t believe in God anymore — she’s left behind the church she grew up in and its ‘toxic culture’ — she describes herself as ‘vaguely spiritual.’

She claims that taking the pill or another non-permanent form of birth control would be like kicking the can downhill, since she knows she doesn’t want children ever.

“I’m going for it once, I’m going to rest for a few weeks, and then I’ll never think about doing it again.”

The teen has a roommate named Emily, and a part time job at a grocery shop. She doesn’t have a clear idea of her life other than traveling and possibly moving to the coast from the’semi desert grasslands’ where she currently lives.

In high school, she traveled to Ecuador and Kenya on humanitarian missions. She now dreams of visiting every continent.

She was surprised that her doctor, who will sterilize and her in the following months, didn’t ask about her sexual past. If she had, he would have learned that it amounts only to flirting and a few date nights.

Sophia says, “I’m a virgin and I was concerned that she would send my off to have sex before I agreed to it.” She admitted that she could get baby fever in her twenties. But that’s another risk she’s willingly accepting.

She says, “There’s no point regretting something you can’t change.” If she could find a partner who wants children, “That would be a dealbreaker to me.” She can’t recall a single moment that turned her off to parenthood. However, she didn’t like being around other children when she was a child and she hated babysitting as an adult. “I found it draining.

Chelsea, a 25-year-old Sacramento woman, told me that kids ‘kinda gross her out. Chelsea, a 25-year-old Sacramento woman, told me that she is weighing the risks of having to go under the knife. She said that regret is not one of them. ‘What’s the point of regretting?’ Another Redditor writes, “That I’ll be too happy?” Too free?

Clay Routledge is an existential psychologist at North Dakota State University. He has studied young peoples’ attitudes toward the future and found that there is a growing school thinking among twentysomethings that humans are the problem.

It’s more than just that we have built factories, polluted oceans, and launched tons of garbage into the space. It’s that there’s something about us — our psychology, our chromosomal wiring — that makes it impossible for us to make things better.

Routledge states, “They’re saying the future isn’t a good investment.” Routledge states, “And if you don’t have a future, why would your life be anything but hedonistic?” Why would you give to charities? Why would you want to make the world a better place or care about human progress and development? He says that this generation believes that humans are a failure.

British feminist scholar Sophie Lewis describes the institution of the family as a’microfactory full of debtors’. She also argues that it generally sucks. 

Lewis describes pregnancy in her book ‘Full Surrogacy Now. Feminism against Family.’ She envisions a post-parent world in which the old notions of the family are replaced by a ‘classless community based on the best care for all.

It is possible she could get it, if her current fever does not break.

Sophia, 19 years old, in British Columbia, said that she used to think that all children are bad. “I attribute it to emotional immaturity. I realized there was more to it, and I didn’t have to be rigid in my beliefs as I grew older.

I ask her what her childless life will look. Which countries will she visit? Where will she live? What will she do with her spare time and what is her career plan? 

“It’s kinda hard to ask someone who’s nineteen and hasn’t finished college what they want to do with their lives,” she says to me, a little annoyed.