A forum online for women, created to address misogyny in relationships and give advice on dating has been criticized for echoing the culture of “cel” by ridiculing and scrutinising men.
Female Dating Strategy was founded in the USA in 2019 by an anonymous group of women “from all walks” and is now a worldwide phenomenon.
The Red Pill and Incel communities created it as a reaction to them. This collection of sites, blogs, forums, and online discussions which promote masculinity, misogyny and oppose feminist ideas was formed.
Core beliefs include that ‘most men are not of value’ to women, that a man’s ‘role is to be the pursuer’, men must ‘invest’ in you before you allow them to have sex with you, and that it’s not acceptable to date a ‘financially-challenged man’.
FDS names unsuitable males’scrotes’. It claims men with personality disorders and small penises should avoid being with women.
Since its inception, the website has been expanding rapidly. It now includes a number of Reddit threads including the FDS handbook, which is a compilation of more than 100 posts that outlines their philosophy. The main thread, however, has over 206,000 members.
Although the forum’s purpose is to be pro-women it also asks women to adapt their personality to make them attractive to the right kind of man. It divides men into categories that are ‘high’ and ‘low’.
Female Dating Strategy was founded in response to Red Pill Rights in 2019. It is an online network that aims to assist women in finding’relationships which truly benefit them’. Their core beliefs include the belief that women shouldn’t have one-night stands with men and that the size of their penis is important.
Emma Sayle, the CEO of sex-positive social network Killing Kittens, says that ‘any site that rates humans as lesser to each other by using derogatory terms is never going to end well’.
She believes that by ridiculing men on the website, users could actually be worsening misogyny by tapping into male insecurities.
Emma said that “Belittling someone makes them feel inferior, feeds insecurities and keeps the cycle of misogynistic relationships alive.”
“No one’s too good for another.” There’s no ‘out of your league’ or ‘cr*p in bed’. There are many people with different personalities and there is someone to suit everyone. Is it anyone’s business to decide what makes a man high-value?
The group divides men into categories of ‘high and low value’ and tells users that a man needs to ‘invest’ in them before they have sex, claiming that ‘P**y has value, and d*ck doesn’t’
WHAT FEMALE DATING STATEGY USERS POSTED
There are many posts that address widespread topics such as sexual assault and drink spiking. However, others complain about how to avoid ‘worthless men’ and refrain from having sex without investment.
Posts are usually shared using tags such as ‘Male depravity’, ‘Pick me culture’ – referencing women who are desperately seeking approval from men – or ‘Level up’ – meaning a post helping to establish yourself as a ‘high value woman’.
Red Pill Subreddit users are often critical of Red Pill subreddits members because they have negative attitudes toward women. But, there is a lot of similar posts for men.
For example, one post titled ‘Men don’t have sexual needs’ claims that males only wish to have sex in order to ‘degrade, dominate, humiliate, feel powerful and get other men’s approval’.
Another recent post links to the Female Dating Strategy podcast of which the latest subject is ‘body-shaming men for their own good’.
“HIGH QUALITY” WOMEN AND “PickmeSHAS”
The Female Dating Strategy offers a ‘handbook’ to first time users of recommended reading, including a guide on how to become a ‘high value woman’ and how to spot a ‘low value man’.
A ‘dreamgirl is an ideal woman who is trustworthy and reliable.
A ‘high quality woman’ takes care of her health and hygiene but ‘isn’t crazy’ and if she suffers from mental health issues must manage them through therapy or medication.
Site also classifies females as those looking for men’s approval, or ‘Pickmeshas’. It even employs terms from the manosphere such as ‘Becky to denote a woman who is attracted to a man of low value.
HIGH AND LOW VALUE FOR MEN
As for low value men, an entire page is dedicated to helping users spot personality disorders in potential dates while the official Female Dating Strategy website states that penis size very much matters for enjoyable sex.
LVM is considered a serious health risk for women.
If you don’t let him, an LVM could destroy your entire life. Wear condoms like your life depends on it. I recommend that you avoid sex for at most three months. Also, get STI tests if necessary. One post states that males could infect you and you may be unable to have children.
Men are generalised into eight categories of the ‘LVM’ to be avoided; The clinger; The parental seeker; The unavailable man; The man with the hidden life; The mentally ill man; The violent man and The predator.
Another alternative is the ‘HVM,’ a man who invests financially in his female partner.
The core beliefs of the FDS subreddit include:’most men don’t have value to women’;’most men’ must invest’ in you before they can have sex. Likewise, you should never be able to date someone who is ‘financially disabled’. Examples of posts titles from the FDS subreddit
The handbook contains one post that reads, “Unless he is consistently investing his resources into you, he doesn’t have any place in your life.”
A HVM recognizes that housework is difficult to divide evenly and will pay money for help.
WHAT TO DO WITH A “HIGH VALUE” MAN AND A “HIGH QUALITY WOMAN?”
A woman must be able to obtain a HVM instead of a LVM. This includes not sleeping with men at the beginning date and never moving in with someone before getting married.
The feminist forum also offers some helpful advice for dating: Slowly approaching the chair while your hands are on your bag to check if the date is pulling it out; Waiting for him to take your coat off; Making sure you’re not paying attention when the bill arrives and then pausing to read a story to find out if he refills his glass.
BDSM or polyamory in sex is disrespectful as they reflect the person’s values.
One post in the handbook reads: ‘First off, a fundamental law of nature is that P**y has value, and d*ck doesn’t. The reason females have a preference for sex with men is because it comes with high risks and low rewards.
Is THE WEBSITE DANGEROUS??
Jon Bircher, an author and journalist is a former journalist. He explores the same themes in Date-onomics as Make Your Move but disagrees with their solutions to modern dating’s problems.
He called shaming women who ask out men on dates, women who ask their boyfriends to marry them and quantifying other human beings as ‘high value’ or ‘low value’ as ‘uncomfortable’.
He said, “It’s just not the world that I want to live.” Although I am aware that many celebrity dating coaches preach the exact same language and ideas as FDS, it is not surprising.
“To me, online dating has become so obsessed with labels like “high-value woman” or “low-value man”, it is an indication of the way that online dating is ruining relationships. This is a sign of the consumerist mindset.
“Online dating is now just another type of online shopping. All items can be exchanged or returned. All it is about getting the best deal.
“There’s not enough room anymore for love and magic. Online dating is just another option, in which the gentle electrician is a low value mate and the insufferable lender is high-value.
“I absolutely hate this type of classism. However, the root problem extends beyond ethics and morals. It’s bad dating strategy too.’