After she revealed that her boyfriend was extremely obese and had difficulty having sex, a woman was told to end the relationship with him.
In her mid-twenties, the British woman reached out to Mumsnet to tell him he is a great guy, but that he has some health issues and that his weight affects the sex’mechanics.
She added he appeared to have ‘buried penis syndrome’, a medical condition in which skin and fat obscure a normal sized penis, making it appear smaller or less visible.
She wants to have children in her future with a partner who takes care of their health. She wondered if it was unfair for her to continue dating him, hoping he will change.
There were a variety of responses to the post. with some advising her to end the relationship due to her dreams of becoming a mother, while others argued Obesity should not be a problem.
An anonymous woman from the UK has started a debate about a relationship with someone who can’t have physical intimacy due to their weight (file photo)
Mumsnet was contacted by the woman who explained that she couldn’t have sex because her partner had many minor illnesses and it was difficult for her to do so.
The woman stated that she had been in a relationship for a while with the hope of finding a partner to have kids with, but could not deny the’realchemistry’ she felt with her current partner.
She described him as “incredibly intelligent, kind, accomplished and interesting”, but she also said that he is “not just a few stone over” his BMI range.
The woman in question then went on to explain how her husband’s weight (which she didn’t reveal) and his minor illnesses had affected sex.
She continued, “We had difficulty doing that and didn’t in the end.” This may have been what made me realize that this could be a problem, I believe.
“This has absolutely nothing to do w/attraction, I think he’s gorgeous and I’m not a fat-basher. I’ve had many weight struggles, some of which were related to medication. I was once a size 18-20. I still have a lot to lose.
She said she’s not looking for a gym-honed type, but that mobility is important to her.
The woman wrote a series if follow-up posts in which she revealed that her partner seems to be hiding penis syndrome
Many people who responded to the post advised the woman to stop the relationship. They suggested that her partner should try to lose weight and not continue to date.
One wrote, “If he’s so overweight that he’s incapable of having sexual relations then it’s a non-starter really.” He will know that his weight is the reason he can’t have sex, but he hasn’t mentioned any …’ related to wanting to lose weight.
They continued to advise that there’s no easy way to bring up the subject and suggested telling him that the relationship was not working.
Another similarly commented: ‘I’m astonished he is dating and not taking the time to take care of himself and sort his s*** out. He is waiting for someone to fix his problems. Why is he so obese? Is he also suffering from mental health problems?
“We all have health issues as we age, but this is another – it’s affecting his ability for love/sex life and he doesn’t seem to be bothered.”
A third added: “I would not want a man who is very obese and has not tried losing weight at all. And who should know that this could cause many problems in the future such as health problems, sex problems, and movement issues?
A stream of replies to the post advised the woman that she should end the relationship (pictured).
Others advised her to give the relationship time, pointing out that the weight issues with her partner may not be permanent.
One wrote, “I don’t agree that everyone should cut your losses at this stage.” ‘You’re still in the very beginning stages. It is impossible to know if this is a permanent condition or if it is related to the recent hard times.
“He may have fallen into unhealthy patterns that could be easily broken. You said that you still have some weight to lose. Perhaps you could try to live a healthier lifestyle together, taking long walks, eating well, etc.
The person advised the woman to wait and see how it develops, because he seemed’remarkable’.Otherwise perfect’ – it would be a shame not to ‘give it another chance’
Another one: “I think that you’re overthinking.” Take it one week at time and watch how your relationship progresses. If you like someone, that’s what matters. I would go with the flow, and enjoy it!
I don’t care about a man’s size. I actually love a big bear.
Others suggested to the woman that she should wait and see how things go, as her weight issues may be resolved by her partner.